Wednesday, December 22, 2010


A Prime Minister with absolutely no idea
Making our quality of life quickly disappear
Instead of leading this country with strength & vision
She’s bogged down with inertia and indecision

A Treasurer lacking any rational clue
He clearly has no idea what he should do
Wasting taxpayers money on inane schemes
You couldn’t make this stuff up in your wildest dreams

A deputy Treasurer with an unfulfilled ambition
He’ll stop at nothing to be the top Politician
He’ll knife anyone and everyone who gets in his way
First Rudd, next Gillard: it’s Groundhog Day!

A Foreign Minister with a chip on his shoulder
His hatred and anger a slow-burning smoulder
Travelling at will all over the globe
As the throbbing increases in his temporal lobe

A Health Minister who loves to speak like a tramp
You could list her achievements on a postage stamp
Over 3 years in the job and despite lots to say
She’s done nothing with hospitals in the true Labor way

A Finance Minister with an arrogant streak
Failed with the ETS and copped much deserved critique
But like all Labor MP’s she plays the spin game
Good at avoiding scrutiny and deflecting the blame

The big bald rock star remains on the front bench
But he’s badly tainted, emitting a foul smoke-filled stench
Now Minister for Schools, his survival does astound
Let’s hope he doesn’t burn the school halls to the ground

How did we end up with this inept crew?
What is it about Labor Governments and Déjà vu?
Waste, infighting, corruption and fiddling the books
When will voters wake up to these useless crooks?

Sunday, December 19, 2010


2010 has been a most incredible year
Particularly in the Australian political sphere
A sitting PM was thrown out on his ear
And an election delivered a result most unclear

A first-term government lost 16 seats
The most unique and humiliating of historical feats
But they somehow managed to offset the defeats
By offering 2 independents untold treats

A 5.4% swing against the Labor rules
Was not enough to convince those 2 fools
Even young children in primary schools
Could see the voters had no desire for Jules

But Gillard got the nod from the 2 independents
As the duo revelled in their own ascendance
Despite the conservative leanings of their electorate
They were a party to this deceptive protectorate

So we’re stuck with this mob of unlimited incompetence
Who’ve shattered stability, destroyed people’s confidence
Wasted billions of dollars on inane and bad schemes
Fiscal rectitude? They wouldn’t even know what it means

Now as our standard of living slips into arrears
After Labor’s been in power for just over 3 years
We cast our minds back to the prosperous Howard years
And realise this government is the sum of all fears

We’ve now got $174 billion in escalating debt
And so many failed policies, who could forget?
Border security weakened to appease bleeding hearts
The number of people in detention is off the charts* *(refer diagram below)

This government has lots of blood on its hands
As many an Australian ruefully understands
Insulation installers electrocuted in roofs
200+ boat people drowned, unspeakable proofs

Grocery Choice, Fuel Watch, the BER rorts
ETS, NBN: wasteful bubbles of thoughts
Water reform, Mining Tax, the ‘Education Revolution’
Child Care, Super Clinics, so much inane convolution

So many of their ‘reforms’ remain up in the air
Unfulfilled promises, a Government in disrepair
We continue to suffer at the hands of their doctrinaire
And many ordinary Australians have a feeling of despair

We started the year with a verbose & useless Prime Minister
Who was killed off by faceless men and a deputy sinister
She assumed the top job by backstabbing Rudd
But has proven to be an even more incompetent dud

She has a surprising inability to lead with conviction
And rules a party riddled with contradiction
It’s not too much of a stretch to make this prediction;
The faceless men will soon plan her crucifixion

So as the tumultuous 2010 soon ends
I want to say to Andrew Bolt and his blog friends
Maintain the passion, and act without fear
And hope the coalition is in power by the end of next year

A safe Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year
To you and your loved ones, best wishes sincere
Thanks for all your support this year throughout
This is Arthur McArthur: over and out!

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


There are bodies afloat at Christmas Island
More lives lost due to inane Labor policy
Don’t make it political, even though it’s political
Such excuses are just myth and fallacy

There’s a smashed up boat at Christmas Island
Three metre waves drowning people’s powers
“The Prime Minister’s cut short her holiday”
But she went missing for the next 24 hours

There’s blood on the hands of our Government
Which changed perfectly legitimate laws
Flotsam and Jetsam line the coastline out there
But it doesn’t cover up Labor policy flaws

There’s a fool named David Marr on the TV
Blaming this tragedy on the Navy rescue fleet
But if Labor hadn’t weakened our borders
We wouldn’t have to listen to his lies and deceit

It’s not 'Happy Christmas' at Christmas Island
Santa Claus won’t be visiting the tragic kids
A government with no control or credibility
Has put our once-great country on the skids

There are many angry people around this country
Angry at Gillard’s reckless policy behaviour
Playing politics with innocent people’s lives
She’s a disgrace to all of Australia

There’s blood on the rocks at Christmas Island
Women, men and children have drowned
Don’t make it political, even though it’s political
Or the lefties will shout you down

There’s a hypocrite in the office of Prime Minister
Calling for “bipartisan support” to get her out of the shit
But it’s her policy which is responsible for this tragic event
And she must immediately quit

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

(Wiki) Leaking on Rudd

Political careers experience troughs & peaks
As friends & foes examine one’s techniques
Depending on the height of office one seeks
MP’s must now be cautious of ‘WikiLeaks’

Julian Assange and his global team of sleuths
Freedom fighters, some oldies, some youths
Are determined to reveal secret truths
To inform us as we line up at polling booths

Top secrets exposed by whistle blowing
Politicians & diplomats caught out, unknowing
Weaknesses and doubts suddenly showing
Amongst reports which once were glowing

As more and more secrets are leaked
More arcanum exposed by the week
We can expect another Rudd fit of pique
As he’s described as a “bungling control freak”

Rudd’s “significant blunders” should worry you
As should his blatant disrespect of George W
He’s tragically failed his diplomatic peer review
And his exposure as a dud is long overdue

I hope ‘WikiLeaks’ leads to Rudd being destroyed
To witness that I would be overjoyed
It’d be a pleasure one couldn’t avoid
To see the dangerous egomaniac unemployed

For a man who craves constant validation
The biggest narcissist in our great nation
Rudd will call for Assange’s immediate castration
Whilst Gillard should demand Rudd’s resignation

Australians knew Rudd has personality disorders
But now the secret’s not confined to our borders
And Rudd’s drowning in unchartered waters
Exposed globally by the Wiki marauders

Sunday, November 21, 2010


Government debt is at $172 billion*
Concern amongst the electorate is spreading
But according to Bob Brown and the Greens
Most important is a gay’s right to a wedding

Interest rates are rising, inflation a threat
Financial uncertainty is widespread
But on the list of priorities drafted by the Greens
Number 1 is a gay’s right to wed

A government up to its neck in incompetence
And although it’s easy to be critical and disparage
Instead of governing with strong credible policies
Labor vacilates on the non-issue of gay marriage

Labor’s disastrous 'Home Insulation' scheme
Led to one of our great justice miscarriages
Lives and billions lost as they kowtowed to the Greens
Now the Greens new obsession is gay marriages

Cost of living pressures squeeze the family budget
Struggling families surviving on water and bread
But ask the Greens what really matters to voters
They say it’s a homosexuals right to be wed

As consumer confidence & retail sales are falling
We have a government & treasurer in denial
As they ignore the plight of the average Aussie
Just so gay people can walk down the aisle

In Labor’s desperation to appear ‘progressive’
As they allow minorities to start to get hold
They try to carry favour with the lunatic Greens
So gays can carry their husband over the threshold

Climate Change was once the Greens main obsession
Pursued with religious fervour & threats for our lives
But since the dodgy science has exposed that fraud
It's now about gay husbands & lesbian wives!

* Government debt, as at 21/11/10 is $172,701 Billion.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

The Howes, whys and wherefores.

Who the hell is this Paul Howes?
And what emotions does he arouse?
Determined to lift his own profile
And appease the Labor rank and file

As the AWU secretary
He played the ALP’s emissary
And revealed Labor’s evil plan
A self-confessed faceless man

A Labor man in everyone’s eyes
Yet he helped secure Rudd’s demise
Went on Lateline to tell the world
He was sick of Rudd & backed the girl

As secretary of the AWU
His own agenda he does pursue
As the main issue that did matter
He delivered Rudd’s head on a platter

He has delusions of grandeur
And acts more like a raconteur
Touring the country for his book release
When will the narcissism cease?

The protégé of shifty Bill
His political goals he must fulfill
Like Bill, his career won’t be complete
Til he’s parachuted into a safe Labor seat

Why does Howes get so much attention?
His profile is beyond my comprehension
The AWU he does passionately endorse
Represents just 1.1% of the workforce*

What the hell is with Paul Howes?
And the Labor tripe he does espouse
Just another union upstart
And a genuine media tart!

* Australian workforce: 11 million.
AWU members: 130,000 = 1.1%.

Friday, November 12, 2010

"These are a few of Rudd's favourite things"

Frowns on the faces of Liberals and Nationals,
Hearing them scream that my plans are irrational,
Enjoying the perks that my position brings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Lying, deflecting, gross exaggerations,
Meeting world leaders in far-reaching locations,
Strutting around like I’m one the kings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Photo opportunities with famous faces,
Flying irrationally to exotic places,
Seeing Julia impatiently wait in the wings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Token positions for long time supporters,
Feeding bullsh1t to complicit reporters,
Making Australian culture more like Beijing’s,
These are a few of my favourite things.

When Swan is wrong,
When I see Wong,
When I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Winking at myself as I shave in the mornings,
Thankful the media’s ignored all the warnings,
Every day I’m in power, the joy that it brings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Recklessly spending and wasting the surplus,
Being the ringleader of the ALP circus,
A union puppet controlled by their strings,
I’d really rather not talk about those things.

Seeing Australians getting zero enjoyment,
As incompetent policies lead to mass unemployment,
Wastage, ineptitude, the panic bell rings,
Please can we refrain from mentioning these things?

I’m a try-hard,
Soon a discard,
The people have been had,
They’ll realize the error they made in 07,
It’s the reason we all feel so bad.

Julia said.....

Mark Latham is a great leader
A visionary man of character
He broke a taxi drivers arm?
He’d better get a good barrister!

Free medical help for old people
We’ll call it ‘Medicare Gold’
We didn’t cost it properly?
Oh my, a $5 billion hole!

How about an education revolution?
And a laptop for every kid
Well, maybe one in four gets one
This has cost us a fair quid!

I’ve got a bottomless pit of money
So I’ll build ‘memorial’ school halls
The States & builders ripped of billions?
Sheesh, those bastards have got balls!

I weakened border security
People smugglers could start anew
I’ll build a detention centre in East Timor
And completely ignore Nauru!

Climate Change is a great challenge
It’s claimed a few political scalps
I’ll announce a Citizens Assembly
And hope like hell that helps!

The Citizen Assembly’s a friggin’ joke
But I need to cuddle up to the Greens
I’ll announce a ‘Cash for Clunkers’ scheme
Whatever the hell that means!

Things seemed easier as deputy
A smooth PM’ship seemed a shoo-in
But my trail of defunct policy thoughts
Proves I’ve no idea what I am doing!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

And the boats keep coming...

In keeping with her record of failure
Gillard’s made another fine mess
When the errors and waste will cease
Is anybody’s guess

This time it’s border security
At the heart of her latest mistake
And any semblance of control of our borders
Is contrived and wrong and fake

The boats come almost daily
Record numbers of illegal arrivals
Labor’s caused a massive ‘pull’ factor
As people risk their children’s survival

In November 08 things were under control
As Labor retained Howard’s border protections
Then they softened laws to appease bleeding hearts
And invited a new wave of defections

170+ people have drowned
Thanks to Gillard’s softening of the rules
But the Government blames ‘push’ factors
They’re treating us all like fools

They softened the rules of our country
Invited smugglers to resume their trade
And despite thousands of illegal arrivals
They won’t admit to the errors they’ve made

Detainees have more than doubled
And the cost to taxpayers is out of control
Labor tries to pretend they’re more humane
But the drownings are an own goal

Gillard lied to us, as is normal
And said she’d stop the boats from coming
Then her lame East Timor solution
Was both insulting and brain-numbing

Australians don’t like gatecrashers
Uninvited guests should join the queue
Go through the proper channels
So we can properly process you

Again Labor & Gillard are unsuccessful
Yet another policy failure
They’ve hung the ‘Welcome Everyone’ sign
On the front door of Australia

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


There is history in the making
This is the gift which keeps on taking
How to make a bust out of a boom
The giant elephant in the room

Please don’t talk, don’t say a word
Your insolence is most absurd
You’re sounding like a prophet of doom
When you speak of the elephant in the room

But the elephant is blowing out
Gouging itself on seeds of doubt
You say that I’m a prophet of doom?
The elephant took a dump in your living room

A welcome pet is the elephant
So brilliant, smart and elegant
You’ll start to see the benefits real soon
Of the obese elephant in the room

You say the elephant is a welcome pet
Feeding itself on massive debt
‘NBN CO’ is it’s nom de plume
The big white elephant in the room

You pass critique at your detriment
The people love the elephant
Yes it costs a lot to feed and groom
That largesse elephant in the room

Tell me the benefits the elephant offers?
As you raid and pillage public coffers
To feed the thing: I must assume
You’re clueless to the elephant in the room

It does cost a lot to keep this pet
I am now riddled with regret
A cost-benefit plan would’ve been opportune
I’m now stuck with this elephant in the room

The line of logic has been crossed
$43 billion is the minimum cost
To feed the beast, try to make it bloom
This wasteful elephant in the room

It’s useless, obsolete, slow and old
I’d prefer a new pet, one fast and bold
But it seems I’m stuck with it I fear:
Get this white elephant out of here!

Delusions of Grandeur

What hope have you got as a party
When everyone want to have a say?
Those with delusions of grandeur,
And those who’ve had their day.

‘Whatever it takes’ said Richo,
He was never mild nor meek.
And Paul Howes has an autobiography?
What a bloody cheek!

The Australian Labor Party
Is tearing itself apart limb by limb.
Everyone’s got an opinion,
And their future’s looking grim.

Monday, November 8, 2010


Back to earth with a thud
The voters want her blood
Just another Labor dud
Even worse than Kevin Rudd

People sick of her lies
Have opened up their eyes
Voters now realise
She’s not worthy of top prize

She saw the polls in strife
So she sharpened up her knife
Took Rudd’s political life
Now she’s the one in strife

Crashing back to earth
Due to her policy dearth
Now the target of much mirth
Julia, what’s it all worth?

The faceless men appear
They want her out of here
Gillard’s full of fear
She won’t last another year

"She don't like Newspoll"

(With thanks to the 'Boomtown Rats' and their 1979 hit "I Don't Like Monday's")

“The Australian” lands on her desk
She flicks to ‘Politics’
The latest ‘Newspoll’ is out today
She’s nervous, anxious, feeling sick
But Julia doesn’t understand it
Polls used to say she was good as gold
And she can see no reasons
When there’s so many reasons
Her popularity is so low-low-low-low-low

Tell me why
Jules doesn’t like Newspoll
Tell me why
She don’t like Newspoll
Tell me why
She hates the Newspoll
She wants to shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot Tony Abbott down

The Labor machine is cruel and mean
Julia feels the heat applied
The falling polls are a shock
Julia’s world is rocked
As voters thoughts turn to her litany of lies
There on page 16, the voters don’t look keen
But she ain’t so keen to admit defeat
But she can see no reasons
When there are so many reasons
How many reasons do you need?
Oh oh oh oh

Tell me why
Jules hates the Newspoll
Tell me why
She don’t like Newspoll
Tell me why
She hates the Newspoll
She wants to shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot the Coalition down
Shoot them all down

All the arrogance has stopped on Labor benches now
There’s many frowns and not a smile
Public unrest is churning and Julia’s learning
And the lesson today is ‘no more lies’
The faceless men are circling
Her leadership ain’t working
They’re sharpening knives to thrust in her back
She starts to see the reasons
'Cos there’s so many reasons
Why Julia’s career is starting to die, die, oh, oh, oh.

Tell me why
Jules hates the Newspoll
Tell me why......

Sunday, November 7, 2010


Ms Gillard, what do you stand for?
What is it that makes you tick?
We’re sick of your wavering indifference.
We’re loathing your realpolitik.

Ms Gillard, what do you believe in?
What beliefs do we find at your core?
Or are you too afraid to be honest?
Lest faceless men knock on your door.

Ms Gillard, will you answer the question?
Your inane chatter grates to the bone.
Your attitude of platitudes is pointless,
You’ll be the next they dethrone.

Ms Gillard, will you provide some direction?
Will you lead with conviction and drive?
Or will it just be more of the same?
As you lie, deceive and connive.

Ms Gillard, can you hear the clock ticking?
Do you realise time for action is now?
Seems you’d like to be a real leader,
But have absolutely no idea how.

Ms Gillard, you’re an abject disappointment.
The Labor experiment has failed.
You’ve ruined all that you’ve touched,
And our great country has been derailed.

Ms Gillard, you must get some credit.
For bluffing your way to the top.
But the ‘Peter Principle’ applies to you,
And voters want to give you the chop.

Ms Gillard, will you do us a favour?
And prove you have strength & nerve,
Dissolve Parliament and call an election,
So we get the government we deserve.

Saturday, November 6, 2010


The man put pink batts in my ceiling
He said it helps environmental healing
I came home and found
My house burnt to the ground
A most bizarre and infuriating feeling

The man said he’d fix hospitals & health
Either overtly or, if needed, by stealth
Just more political shtick
Making all of us sick
By pillaging the states income wealth

The man said he’d cut the cost of living
Fuel & Grocery Watch is what he was giving
Millions wasted on such farce
Results poor, savings sparse
More mistakes and reasons for misgiving

The man promised an ETS scheme
He said it’d cost each person $1 per diem
Sucked in by ‘climate change’ hype
Inane ridiculous tripe
Insanity enough to make you scream

The man built lots of school halls
To 'help' as the economy falls
More inane hollow thoughts
Government wastage and rorts
Such cost blow outs and largesse appals

The man put cables into the ground
It cost us billions but then we found
The technology outdated
Cost of connecting inflated
Such waste does amaze and astound

The man said he’d get the economy on track
And return the budget to black
But he lied to us civilians
As the debt mounted to billions
And the voters went on the attack

The man is the most inept ever seen
The worst government there’s ever been
Incompetence & spendthrift ways
Allows for these dark days
Errors, waste & mismanagement obscene

Friday, November 5, 2010

The Traitor Paradigm

How unfortunate for our country
That we have to rely
On a Labor Party Government
Full of shysters prone to lie

False promises and failures
Litter their incumbency
The days of competent government
Headed for redundancy

2 self-centred independents
Only interested in their own agenda
Take the spoils for personal gain
Then retire to their hacienda

These 2 clowns of dodgy character
With shady pasts & dodgy deals
Sucked in by Labor hollow promises
Fallen in head over heels

“You’ll get what you want Mr Windsor
Rob, you’ll be speaker of the House
But now the dirty deals are done
You’ll be as quiet as a mouse”

The carry on over Liberal costings
The headline-grabbing ballyhoo
But then rejecting a BER analysis
Your true colours shining through

No wonder Australians are disillusioned
With this useless mob in power
With you 2 hypocritical fools
Sitting in your ivory tower

Mr Oakeshott, you’re a moron
A grinning verbose Labor hack
Mr Windsor, you sold your soul
And you will never get it back

You blokes waffled on about fairness
You spoke of a new paradigm
You’ll be remembered as nothing more than traitors
In the fullness of time.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Into The Abyss

Has there been a worse government
In the history of Australia?
A more accident-prone collection,
So prone to repeated failure?

A government so inept at policy
All it touches turns to shit,
You want the meaning of incompetence?
Folks, this is it.

A list too long to mention
Of cost blow outs and lame inaction
Spending billions on inane schemes
When they could’ve spent a fraction

As the debt races to $200B
The budget deficit overblown
Is this the most pathetic group of no-hopers
You’ve had the misfortune to have known?

Not one policy has been enacted
Which you could proudly say has aided
People struggling to pay their bills
Our quality of life has been degraded

Australians used to take for granted
The fine leadership of Howard & Co
But those halcyon days are long gone
Great times our children will never know

These days they cower to minorities
Sucked in by greenie feel-good crap
These morons wouldn’t know good policy
If it fell into their lap

We’ve got a PM well out of her depth
And a treasurer with no idea
A foreign minister nobody likes
With an agenda most unclear

They speak of reform and moving forward
Surely they’re taking the piss?
If we keep moving forward at this rate
We’ll fall into the abyss.


(Sung to the tune of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again")

As Swanny spends billions more again
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He cannot save he can only spend
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The bludgers will cheer at the useless crook
The hopeless fool can’t balance the books
And we’re all the poorer
As Swanny spends billions more

As Swanny sends us further in the red
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Seems fiscal rectitude is dead
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He can’t be trusted to stop the spend
Who knows where the debt blow out will end
And we’re all the poorer
As Swanny spends billions more

He’s promised to return a surplus soon
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Better chance of flying to the moon
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He’s never short of a lame excuse
He’s no Swan, he’s just a goose!
And we’re all the poorer
As Swanny wastes billions more

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Fair Crack of the Whip, Wayne Swan

Oh where have you been, useless Wayne Swan?
Whilst the banks are robbing us blind.
Oh what are your plans, clueless Wayne Swan?
To help us out of this bind?

Do you have any idea what to do, Wayne Swan?
As your head wobbles with more lame excuses.
What do you say to the big fat greedy banker
As he does whatever he chooses?

Do you have any semblance of authority Wayne Swan?
Does anybody treat you with any respect?
What are your plans for our future, Wayne Swan?
As you keep wasting billions, unchecked.

How will you stop rising costs, Wayne Swan?
As people struggle to put food on the table.
Can you return the budget to surplus, Wayne Swan?
Could it be that you’re simply unable?

Do you have an economics degree Wayne Swan?
What are your plans to stop reckless spending?
On the way to $200B of government debt**
As we prepare for the gloom which is pending.

Are you the worst Treasurer ever, Wayne Swan?
Even worse than the pathetic Ralph Willis?
At the rate you are wasting our taxes, Wayne Swan,
You will slowly, but surely, kill us.

The budget surplus is gone, Mister Swan
It only took you three years to destroy it.
After 11 years of paying off Labor debt
We didn’t even have time to enjoy it.

What are your plans to repay debt, Wayne Swan?
As we sink further into the red.
Fair crack of the whip, Mister Swan!
Is there something wrong in your head?

** Refer
As at 3/11/2010, Government Securities on Issue: $166.401 billion.

Sunday, October 31, 2010


Government spending is out of control
Gillard’s proving to be another poor choice
Labor is struggling in every poll
Seems Australians have found their true voice

We’re sick of the spin and tired of the lies
All the errors, cost blowouts and waste
Due to Labor incompetence people now realise
We must be rid of the bastards, post haste

They inherited an economy thriving and strong
Zero debt and almost full employment
But in 3 years they’ve done just about everything wrong
And Australians have had zero enjoyment

We’ve watched utility costs increase by 40%
Thanks to inane cow-towing to the Greens
And with every dollar of surplus wastefully spent
Our once-great economy’s blown to smithereens

Insulation in roofs burning homes to the ground
No cost analysis for the mindless NBN
So as you suffer along with tolerance profound
Please never vote Labor again.

A very naughty boy!

Obama wins the US election,
No great surprise I guess,
The media’s bias has done the job,
Barack’s the new President-elect.

Barack speaks well, but says nothing,
Just vacuous words and promises,
Behind the charade is there anything?
There’s till many doubting Thomas’s.

He’s a first term senator with a shady past,
Some connections cruel and sinister,
But the media give him an easy ride,
Just like Australia’s Prime Minister.

Obama promises a new dawn,
But his supporters appear deranged,
That doesn’t signify leadership,
Every homeless beggar wants change.

So good to luck to Obama,
He has a huge burden on his hands,
When you promise to change the world,
You need more than words, you need plans.

Time will tell if Obama’s ‘the One’,
If he’ll bring America hope and joy,
But there’s every chance he’s not the Messiah,
He’s just a very naughty boy.

Saturday, October 30, 2010

1073 DAYS

We’ve had a Rudd/Gillard government for 1073 days.
How have they failed us? Let us count the ways…
The list of outright failures amounts to plenty,
And it all started with the farcical ‘Summit 2020’.

A lot of hot air and the first of many flops
Just like the claim all schoolkids would get laptops.
The ‘Education Revolution’ proved nothing of the sort,
Just more empty words, another bubble of thought.

To appease the greenies, and try to get more support,
Rudd threatens to take Japan to the International Court.
But like all of his ideas, it just gets more absurd,
It all amounts to zero, just more hollow words.

Health was next on Rudd’s pursuit of a headline,
And mid-2009 was his nominated deadline,
“I’ll take over the hospitals if this is how it stays”
Raid the state coffers, create more malaise.

2 more populist ideas Rudd managed to botch:
The crap GroceryChoice and the dumb FuelWatch.
The promise of GP Super Clinics all over the place,
More broken promises, more egg on Rudd’s face.

“One-stop Childcare”; yet another thought bubble,
Sounded good at the time, just more ALP trouble.
Easing the laws on our Border Protection
Will appeal to the left: more ‘ideological perfection’.

Only one small problem with that lame idea:
People smuggler’s realised it’s easier to get in here.
Boatloads arrive, another ideological defeat.
Detention centres full; they’ll build one in your street.

Climate Change, the “great threat of our generation”,
Too hard to address for the Copenhagen congregation.
The ETS threat exposes Rudd’s lack of conviction,
And the ‘great big new tax’ leads to his crucifixion.

Gillard’s BER plan flushes billions down the drain,
People rorting the system, riding the Labor gravy train.
Just like the home insulation, an unmitigated disaster,
And the huge debt was growing, faster and faster.

So to add to the cost blow out, we get the NBN
Another Rudd thought-bubble, here we go again!
Hi-speed broadband for every civilian,
At the miserly cost of just $43 billion!

No cost-benefit analysis: Conroy’s ironically funny
When he says that idea is a ‘waste of taxpayer’s money’.
Apparently $43 billion is not such a waste,
As technology evolves at a frightening pace.

So in another 10 years when the NBN is complete,
The odds are such technology will be obsolete.
It’ll be the most expensive white elephant Australia has seen,
And the cost blowouts & waste will be most obscene.

Soon $100 billion+ was our accumulated debt,
And the moron Wayne Swan was not finished yet,
As government debt became a budget cataclysm,
Our useless Treasurer should’ve been sent to prison!

So the moron presented the great “mining tax”,
And distorted the rationale, misrepresented the facts,
It’s nothing more than a cash-grab to balance the books,
Another useless idea by a useless bunch of crooks.

As you assess this long list, you see Labor is rotten,
I’m sure there’s many other stuff ups that I’ve forgotten,
So when next you go to vote, act with strong volition,
Remember this list, and choose the Coalition.

Sunday, October 24, 2010


Come on Ms Gillard, give us something to believe
You’re the ‘shrewd politician’ you’re rumoured to be
Because your indecision and uninspiring leadership so far
Proves you’re not shrewd at anything by any degree

Rising to the top thanks to knives in the back
You’ve got the top job you coveted for so long
But Australia’s sick of your spin, your bullshit and lies,
They thought you were different, but they were wrong

Thought bubbles, wastage and a lack of consultation
Sees the spin-doctors sent in to clean your mess
Uninspiring dithering and distortions of the truth
Where you’re taking us in anybody’s guess

After 11 years of strong leadership and prosperity for all
And an economy the envy of other nations
We’ve been lumbered with a government under you & Kevin Rudd
That’s been full of errors, untruths and miscalculations

Now we’re back in debt and being ruled by looney greens
And any goodwill built up has quickly evaporated
And your pathetic 'East Timor Solution' has clearly displayed
You’re out of your depth and you’re extremely overrated

So whilst once you were touted as our very own ‘Iron Lady’
Who’d provide strong leadership so lacking under Rudd
You’ve been weak and insipid, more intent on playing games
Like Crean, Latham and Rudd before you, you’re a dud

After 3 years in power, your government’s already looking stale
Leaving a trail of destruction in your wake
We’re crying out for leadership to provide us with direction
But like most Labor politicians, you’re a fake

You’re no ‘Iron Lady', more like a pale imitation
You’re such a disappointment you really should retire
Take up domestic chores, such as ironing Tim’s shirts
And let the Liberal Party give us the leadership we so require

Wednesday, October 20, 2010


A voice of reason speaks to Julia Gillard

Julia Julia where have you been?
I’ve been a slave to the Labor machine.
What exactly by that do you mean?
I’m hopelessly trapped in a ‘do nothing’ routine.

Why have you allowed yourself to lose control?
It works for Brumby who’s ahead in the poll.
But as PM you must take a leadership role.
I’m sorry Australia, I’ve sold my soul.

What has happened to land us in this trouble?
My decisions are based on my latest thought bubble.
So all the problems we have will soon be double?
Frankly this government is a disorganised muddle.

So what will you do? This ain’t looking pretty.
I’ll announce an enquiry, appoint a committee.
People aren’t stupid, this will make them shitty.
I’ll flutter my eyelids, surely they will have pity?

No: get out of the way, you are an obstruction.
But this position of power is such a seduction.
But all that you leave is a trail of destruction.
That’s a harsh but fair and honest deduction.

So you admit you are hopelessly unable to lead?
I have no idea what it takes to succeed.
You must do something, I beg you, I plead.
I’ll do ‘whatever it takes’: that’s the ALP creed.

Tuesday, October 19, 2010


4 months she’s been in power
Our first female PM
Arrived with such a fanfare
But it’s been all downhill since then

Uninspiring and dishonest
Is the most apt way to describe
Her conniving way, her dirty tricks
To which we’ve been prescribed

For all of Kevin Rudd’s weaknesses
And there are far too many to list
If Gillard keeps up this uselessness
Rudd will soon be sorely missed

She’s bungled border protection
As every day a new boat appears
And her pathetic call to East Timor
Has fallen on deaf ears

And ‘Climate Change’, that crock of shit
Which greenies cling to with abandon
Saw Gillard’s stupid ‘citizens assembly’
Unceremoniously disbanded

Her BER program sent us into debt
Shonky workmanship & teacher’s fury
She’s again proven she couldn’t organise
A piss up in a brewery

She’s done nothing as our leader
Just glib comments, vacant words,
She took over a useless government
And has proved you cannot polish turds!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

NBN: Nothing But Nonsense

43 billion dollars, quite probably more,
Isn’t that what Telco’s are for?
No cost benefit analysis? A bloody crime;
So we can download movies in half the time.

As this Government bungles one thing after the next,
And leaves ratepayers poor, confused and perplexed,
Waste & mismanagement as debt continues to climb,
But we can download movies in half the time.

People are homeless, unemployment still rife,
Many hard working Australians struggling in life,
But Labor continues to spend with no reason or rhyme,
And they can download movies in half the time.

New wireless technology is rapidly expanding,
Fast download speeds, results are outstanding.
But Conroy dismisses such notions as a “waste of time”,
And he can download movies in half the time.

Our dry continent needs water for agriculture to thrive,
It’s the government’s duty to help farmers survive.
Instead they waste billions on underground cables and lines,
So we can download movies in half the time.

For under 2 billion dollars more dams could be built,
This useless government should be riddled with guilt,
But there’s no votes in water, it’s not ‘sexy’ or fine,
And we can download movies in half the time.

Farmers are bankrupted, no water for crops,
Banks calling in loans, this madness must stop.
No building of dams is an absolute crime,
But we can download movies in half the time.

Conroy’s in denial and makes no apology
Of the risk of investing in obsolete technology.
He thinks his NBN plan is quite simply sublime,
And he can download movies in half the time.

Gillard Amounts to Nothing

Exactly what has she done to have risen so high?
I struggle to fathom, no matter how hard I try.
Her record is littered with failures and waste,
Seems her lofty status is badly misplaced.

As a leading hand in the Socialist Forum,
An industrial lawyer, sadly lacking decorum.
A hard-headed leftie with communist persuasions,
A lack of judgement exposed on many occasions.

She backed Simon Crean, she championed Beasley,
She switched allegiances to Latham ever-so easily.
She’d swing in the breeze, and keep her head low,
Yet somehow her reputation would continue to grow.

And when it comes to taking decisive actions,
She’s more interested in pathetic distractions.
A ridiculous hairstyle and a pathetic girly laugh,
Avoid the hard questions: “Ask my chief of staff”.

But one can only fly under the radar for so long,
Before people start to realise that something is wrong.
‘We’ve got a highly rated MP with a record of failure’,
Pulling the wool over the eyes of all of Australia.

In the opposition corner, one’s power is restricted,
The chance to make a ‘real’ difference is somewhat constricted.
Opposition for the sake of it, a cheap-shot headline,
But when you’re in power, there is a deadline.

Three years to fulfil the promises made,
To be true to your word, no more masquerade.
No more hiding behind the façade of one’s gender,
Time to remove any doubt that you’re a pretender.

3 years as deputy leader of an incompetent rabble,
A part of the ‘Gang of Four’ and their psychobabble,
What a huge price we all pay for that inept quartet,
Mistake after mistake, taking us deep into debt.

Clearly Gillard has failed to rise to any occasion,
A fact that can’t be denied, no matter what your persuasion.
And on her long list of failures, her worst by far,
Has no doubt been the disgustingly wasteful BER.

She’s proven again she’s unable to superintend,
And her long list of failures is hard to comprehend.
For someone deemed so ‘smart’ she’s sadly inept,
But clearly her incompetence has been a secret well kept.

It soon became apparent that Rudd was deeply flawed,
And polls showed the Labor government was a fraud.
Despite riding on Rudd’s coattails, a classic juxtaposition,
Gillard sharpened her knives, ready to assume top position.

The ‘Night of the long Knives’ soon clicked into gear,
Gillard rallied the troops, the faceless men did appear.
Shorten, Farrell and Arbib quickly went on the offence,
And she had the top job, despite zero accomplishments.

Then it’s off to the polls, she must earn her high status,
To be ‘elected’, not ‘selected’ is Gillard’s last hiatus.
No late night number crunching is sufficient this time,
A chance to ingratiate oneself, from ridiculous to sublime.

But even 1st term incumbency proved insufficient,
As Labor’s failures & waste were clearly deficient.
The Libs gained more primary votes and won more seats,
Labor stared down the barrel of one of their worst-ever defeats.

But thanks to 3 independents with shonky motivations,
We’re subject to 3 more years of hell & damnation.
Gillard scraped over the line with a ‘victory’ of sorts,
3 more years of incompetence, debt, lies and rorts.

As the sum of her 12 years in Canberra attests,
She’s not as impressive as her reputation suggests,
Flying under the radar as the rest of us are suffering,
It’s blatantly clear Julia Gillard amounts to nothing.

Monday, October 11, 2010


Tony Abbott has been laying low
Since Oakeshott delivered his deathly blow
A rock and a hard place, he’s been stuck between
We’ve been wondering where the fighter’s been

But the pugilist is back, all guns blazing
The beast has awoken, it’s quite amazing
That he’s managed to remain so controlled & stoic
In light of the cruelty of a campaign so heroic

He fought the unwinnable election and almost prevailed
And who’d have predicted the mayhem that entailed
As the Labor crony machine moved into top gear
And exposed the Independents as self-serving racketeers

But enough is enough, according to Tone
He’ll no longer tolerate big Red’s abuse of the throne
Her lies and distortions behind a mask of deceit
As Labor lackeys in the media gather at her feet

And no matter what you think of Gillard’s appointment
Her first 100 days in office are a huge disappointment
She lacks gravitas and style, and although you may scoff
It’s high time she took her ‘L’ plates off

She must get rid of the laugh and well-rehearsed grin
Leadership & direction is why she was put in
Not to denigrate Abbott and score cheap political points
Because as your lies are exposed, it just disappoints

So stop the muckraking and telling tales out of school
You’ll quickly realise that Abbott is nobody’s fool
Stop the lies and the ‘bastardry’, such behaviour is madness,
Or the fighter, Tony Abbott, will knock you to the canvas.

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

The Winningest of Losers

I can run faster than you, but I can't win the race
I've got you covered, but you I cannot displace
I got more votes than you, but you win the election
You promise stability, I sense insurrection

My party won 14 seats, yours lost 16
Your promise of credibility will never be seen
The voters swung to me, they swung against you
You scraped in with the Independents 'pas de deux'

So as you "open the curtains to let in the light"
I promise you you're in for one hell of a fight
Your lame coalition with the lunatic fringe
Will see your 'stable' government quickly unhinge

You can have Oakeshott, he's clearly unstable
And while Wilkie is willing, he is clearly unable
Windsor's been sucked in by his cousin spinmeister
And watch your back with Rudd; he's still the same shyster

So I'll sit back and watch as you slowly implode
This disastrous government I confidently forebode
Bad leadership, poor policies and mismanagement
As the Labor deficit and debt continues to augment

So whilst I offer you my most sincere congratulations
Don't get too far ahead of yourself with your aspirations
To the dustbin of history you will be consigned
And next time I'll be first across the finishing line

Sunday, September 5, 2010


Please not 3 more years of ALP incompetence
What a disater that'd be, in anybody's conscience

Please not 3 more years of Gillard's inane policies
3 more years of her untruths, her blatant lies, her fallacies

Please not 3 more years of Swan's debt accumulation
3 more years of the head wobbler will seal our own damnation

Please not 3 more years of Bob Brown and his Greens
3 more years will demonstrate what bad governance means

Please not 3 more years of the unbearable Penny Wong
3 more years of her arrogance is simply and plainly wrong

Please not 3 more years of Conroy & his obsolete NBN
3 more years of this lunatic & we'll be laughing stock again

Please not 3 more years of Roxon's poor policies by stealth
3 more years of her cannot be good for anybody's health

Please not 3 more years of Kevin Rudd and his distractions
3 more years of his leaks & lies & destabilising actions

If the 3 Independents want stability they must act with great volition
No more Labor, no more lies: they must back the Coalition

So on D-Day as the Independents finally come to a decision
Let's hope & pray they choose Abbott or risk ridicule and derision

Independents Day

Independent men of independent thought
Men of strong conviction whose vote cannot be bought
Independent men who'll make decisions that are right
Not afraid to ask tough questions, not afraid to pick a fight

Independent men who've walked away from party pacts
Who, as they reach a decision, should just stick to the facts
Labor lost 16 seats whilst the Coalition won 14
Clearly the Australian voters have vented their spleen

Sick of Labor mismanagement and their rorts and waste
A swing against Labor of 5.4, we want them out post haste
A primary vote to Labor of just 38%
There is no ambiguity about what the voters meant

The Coalition got 5.7% more of the primary vote
And lead the 2PP votes, independents please take note
The Coalition has won 73 seats, Labor just 72
On every single measure, the decision's been made for you

More votes, more preferences, more seats, a positive swing of 1.6
Don't be sucked in by Labor's deceitful bag of tricks
The Coalition deserve to govern, they've earnt it by every measure
If you back the ALP, you'll bring about much displeasure

Listen to your own constituents, they want conservative rule
Any other decision you'll be forever branded as a fool
Every statistic says the voters have branded Labor as a failure
So please back the Coalition and restore order to Australia

Saturday, August 28, 2010


Ever wondered what would happen
If a person lost track of the truth?
If everything he said was a lie,
Inaccurate and uncouth?

Welcome people to the Labor Party
An unrepresentative swill.
Distortions, untruths, exaggerations,
Leading our great nation downhill.

The fish rots from the head, they say
And the decay quickly heads south,
And Kevin Rudd can't help but lie
Every time he opens his mouth.

His lies and spin caught up with him
And his popularity quickly slumped
To honest folk he became toxic
And he was unceremoniously dumped!

But Rudd refused to heed the lesson
And be honest with what he'd say
He continues to play loose with the truth
Right up to this very day.

On the night of the recent election
As he gloated in his narrow win
His smugness shone through as usual
Much to my chagrin.

Rudd spoke of a small swing against him
"Between one and two percent"
When in fact the swing was 9.2
Again Rudd tries to misrepresent.

Rudd went on to mention, straight faced,
The "one percent swing suffered by the Libs"
Another lie, a blatant untruth,
A man habitually telling fibs.

In fact the Libs gained 2.5%
As the leaking Rudd slipped 9.2
He's as big a liar as Gillard & Swan
Labor liars; they're nothing new.

All through the election campaign
We were subjected to distortions & spin,
The dishonest corrupt ALP
Will say "whatever it takes" to win.

Article outlining Rudd's lies here:

Monday, August 23, 2010

On the Edge

The result of the election is on a knifes edge
Every vote a potential decider
Like a suicidal jumper teetered on the ledge
Each decision has repercussions much wider

Our fate seems to rest in the hands of 3 men
Independents, men of strong stature
Though many people have never heard of them
We are all enveloped in this rapture

14 million Australians casting their votes
In hope of a better Australia
And despite the hope democracy promotes
In this case it’s been an abject failure

The incumbent government copped its right whack
Losing 15 seats in one bloody night
Despite the Labor Party being put on the rack
Neither party can rule in their own right

So with massive swings against the ALP
The people rejecting their ineptitude
Nobody could imagine or even foresee
That essentially we’re all being screwed

The people have clearly rejected this mob
Sick of the incompetence and waste
The Governor General must do her job
And kick them out of office, post haste

Unless a compromise is reached with Windsor & Co
And they saddle up with the Coalition
We’re doomed to 3 more years of quid quo pro
And complete economic abolition

Saturday, August 7, 2010

10 reasons why....

The first reason I want Labor to come crashing with a thud:
To rid us of the neurotic narcissist Kevin Rudd.

The next reason is because Labor is a horrible choice:
And we must be spared from Julia's annoying voice.

Number 3, we must recover from this economic pain:
And be saved from the incompetent goose Wayne.

4th, we're assured of a financial future less flimsy:
Thank goodness for the retirement of incompetent Lindsay.

The fifth reason is to rid us of a government that's sleazy:
All the lies & mistruths from guys like Albanese.

Next we must be spared from policies and beliefs wrong:
Like Climate Change 'crap' and the arrogant Penny Wong.

Number 7 reason is the waste and failed policies again:
Such as Conroy and his wastful & uncosted NBN.

8th reason is Labor Ministers, repeat the mantra like a parrot:
Like the man who bet his soul and lost, the once talented Peter Garrett.

The ninth reason is to rid us of divisive Labor factions:
That lumbered us with morons like Shorten, Crean and Macklin.

Finally, and I feel most strongly about this one in particular:
I'm sick of the condescending smugness of Plibersek & Nicola.

10 reasons to consider, so please don't cast your vote in haste:
Consider the broken promises, the in-fighting, debt and waste.

Dogs Eats Their Own Sh!t!

Hawke hates Keating, and Bob can't stand Paul
It's fascinating to witness this bitter public brawl
While Gough's indisposed in an old person's home
The infirm Labor Party continues to eat it's own

Gillard knifes Rudd, Kevin can't stand Jules
Who on earth would vote for this pack of fools?
Latham can't stand Rudd, and Kevin hates Mark
The contrast between Liberal & Labor could not be more stark

One is a party determined to pull itself apart
The other is a party with unity at it's heart
One party has a leader with blood on her hands
And a culture of hatred which nobody understands

One has a record of great economic prosperity
The other backflips often with great dexterity
So when it comes to casting your vote on August 21st
Don't re-elect this rabble to which we've been cursed

Labor is full of bitterness and vitriol
Whose only concern is next week's Newspoll
If the current leader isn't delivering good polling
In come the assassins to get the heads rolling

A history of in-fighting and old bitter feuds
Ex-leaders, ex-PM's & their public bad moods
So while Bob, Paul, Julia & Kevin may deny it
In the Labor Party, these dogs eat their own sh!t!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Rudd Buries the Hatchet

6th August, 2010

I'm back!! Roll out the red carpet
Feel blessed that I'm back in the throng
Recovered from surgery for stab wounds
Determined to prove people wrong

Whilst under general anaesthetic
I had the most incredible dream
That I'd been deposed as the PM
Actions, by factions, extreme

'Fair Shake of the Sauce Bottle' Julia
What do you mean I've been sacked?
You think you'll do a good job as PM
And provide what my leadership lacked?

'Stone the Crows' Jules, I'm shattered
I was loving being in charge
You can take over the shambles
The waste and incompetence large

You know something? I'm making a comeback
But having said that, let me say this
I'll get Labor back in this campaign
I know you think I'm taking the piss..

But 'Don't come the Raw Prawn' with me mate
That's when the 'Rubber hits the Road'
I'll just 'Rock 'n Roll' with the punches
And quietly undermine the red-headed toad!

I'll hog the limelight and headlines
Show them all I'm a 'Jack of all Trades'
And as soon as Julia turns her back
I'll 'Bury the Hatchet' between her shoulder blades

As you reach for the 'Low Hanging Fruit'
I'll put my 'Shoulder to the Wheel' once again
Then I'll bump off Swan & Shorten
And once more I'll be the PM!

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

The Domino Effect

"The Domino Effect refers to change, possibly small in itself, that will cause a similar change nearby, which then will cause another similar change, and so on in linear sequence, by analogy to a falling row of dominoes standing on end. The Australian Labor Government's lack of detail in implementing flawed and rushed policies is such an effect. Consider each flawed, rushed & mismanaged project as a single domino. As each policy unravels in a sea of debt, rorts, waste, mismanagement, deaths and cover ups, the domino effect comes into play. As each domino falls forward it knocks the next domino (ie: flawed policy) down, thus compounding the impact of each of the failed Labor policies. Labor call this 'Moving Forward'. Realists call it a DISASTER".

Arthur McArthur
4th August, 2010

Monday, August 2, 2010

The Puppeteers

August 3rd, 2010

Mark Arbib of nimble hand
The true ruler of our land
Carefully controlling our PM
Make her sit then stand again

Bill Shorten on a mission
Driven only by his own ambition
First get Rudd out of the way
Ready to pounce on judgement day

Paul Howes the puppeteer
The Labor Party engineer
In control of every move
As Rudd's assassination proved

Bruce Hawker, image maker
Smooth talker, deal breaker,
The 'fake' routine didn't fool ya,
So he designs the 'real' Julia

The faceless men behind the scene
Driving the ALP machine
All this proves just one thing:
She's just a puppet on a string

Sunday, August 1, 2010

The Ghosts of Past Masters

August 2nd, 2010

I buried that dagger deep in his back
He's gone forever, he ain't coming back
I'm sure he's in hell, not pergatory or heaven
We've definitely seen the last of Kevin07

Just like the disaster that was Mark Latham
These ghosts from the past, I really do hate them
Please let's move on, that story's been told
Swept under the carpet, with Medicare Gold

I'm PM now and we're changing tack
We're 'Moving Forward', we ain't looking back
The Latham/Rudd years were unmitigated disasters
But that'll all change now I killed off both masters

I'll waltz into office with a mandate for change
The deckchairs on the Titanic I'll quickly rearrange
Make a deal with the miner's and half-baked solutions
To stop the boats and stop the Carbon 'pollution'

It's all going swimmingly, the polls say it's working
But reality hits home, the voters see that I'm shirking
Shallow motherhood statements and cynical quick fixes
Just more bad policy, deceptive elixirs

The polls begin to take a downward trend
Then the ghosts of the past start to ascend
Internal leaks and divisions appear
Familiar voices in my head I'm starting to hear

I'm hearing strange voices, a headache does thud
In one ear it's Latham, in the other it's Rudd
Two men I supported, then stabbed in the back
Now they're out to get me, a bilateral attack

Latham's enjoying kicking Rudd while he's down
Ensuring Labor disunity is the talk of the town
And Rudd's feeding stories to Attila the Hun
Any inroads I'd made have been quickly undone

Labor disunity once again exposed
All the ghosts from the past juxtaposed
If it's not Keating & Hawke trading verbal insults
It's Latham & Rudd exposing character faults

It's little wonder people are leaving Labor in droves
This vindictive behaviour is what it behoves
This all goes to show we're just disloyal fakes
Hell bent on doing 'Whatever it Takes'

So as I lie awake at night restless in bed
With Hawke, Keating, Latham & Rudd in my head
The reality hits home I'm not worthy of this job
Australians deserves better than my incompetent mob

Friday, July 30, 2010


31st July, 2010

There once was man from Brissie,
Who did nothing whilst trying to look busy,
When the factions were asked,
They threw him out on his arse,
He didn’t see that coming, did he?!

The people realised this man Kevin Rudd,
Was nothing more than a vacuous dud,
Full of self-congratulation,
Seeking constant adulation,
His policies and ideas were just crud.

So while Rudd tried to remain firm,
He had a way of making people squirm,
With his stupid cheesy grin,
And policies paper thin,
He was gone in less than one awful term.

Rudd was knifed in the back by ‘Big Red’
She decided she'd be PM instead
So with the aid of the factions
She quickly swung into action
Before you knew it it was “off with his head”

So JG became the unelected PM,
She rang the faceless men to sincerely thank them,
But now she’s suffering in the polls
It seems her head will soon roll
And to the scrap heap Labor will be condemned!


Thursday, July 29, 2010

The Head Wobbler

July 30th, 2010

My name is Wayne Swan, and you’re taking your chances
By having me in charge of Australia’s finances
My old Nambour mate Kevin appointed me to the role
Now just 3 years later I’ve created a huge black hole

When I took on the job we were billions in the black
Now we’re billions in debt, please cut me some slack
When it comes to balancing the books I have no understanding
And I had no idea this job would be so demanding

My simple goal when I came into the Treasurers position
Was to give absolutely no ammunition to the opposition
To keep the budget in surplus and avoid another Labor recession
As such I spent billions and billions with limited discretion

So now we’re billions in debt and the budget is screwed
And Labor’s reputation as economic vandals has been renewed
I’m exposed as a fraud, which was the sum of all my fears
And to pay off my debt will take at least 20 years

I mumble, I’ll fumble, and I love to lecture the Libs
With my head wobbling madly as I spew out the fibs
My record has proven with the truth I am loose
And reality kicks in that I’m no Swan, I’m a goose!

Almost every day
Labor has something to say
Pushing so-called ‘reform’
But reform is hardly the norm
Under this Labor rule
Looks like we’ve all been fooled
Looking only at the polls
Spinning out of control
Hate to say it I fear
It’s all downhill from here
Take the first letter from each line
! (exclamation time!!!)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010


29th July, 2010

I won’t be discussing Cabinet deliberations
Unless it’s causing me personal complications
First I’ll blame the Libs for spreading such lies
Then admit the ‘smears’ are true: what a surprise!

I’ll then invent lame excuses explaining my actions
Talk about my past, my life: more inane distractions.
Such blasphemy is just too damaging to mention
Despite admitting I rejected a rise in the pension.

Those ‘old buggars’ vote Liberal, let them eat cake,
Now the truth has been leaked, it was quite a mistake
So listen to my pleads of economic responsibility
And watch me backflip and spin; such amazing agility!

As for paid parental leave, what would I know?
Parenting obviously is simply not my go,
I’ll dismiss my actions as being ‘fiscally judicious’
And hope like hell you believe my excuses capricious.

I’m clasping at straws as my credibility falls
And the billions I blew on Pink Batts & School Halls
Is further evidence of my inability to supervise
So please just ignore the facts and accept my lies!

Tuesday, July 27, 2010

"You're No Good"

28th July, 2010

Feeling better we're almost through
Feeling better 'cause we’re over you
We’ve learned our lesson, it’s left a scar
Now we see how bad you really are

You're no good
You're no good
You're no good
Gillard you're no good

I'm gonna say it again
You're no good
You're no good
You're no good
Gillard you're no good

You broke all promises that is true
We’re completely over a liar like you
Your incompetence there for all to see
Australians have a message for JG

You're no good
You're no good
You're no good
Julia’s no good

I'm gonna say it again
You're no good
You're no good
You're no good
Gillard you're no good

I'm telling you now Gillard, you are going away
We’ll forget about you in just a couple of days
You're no good
You're no good
You're no good
Julia’s no good

I'm gonna say it again
She’s no good
She’s no good
She’s no good
Gillard, she’s no good

You're no good
You're no good
You're no good
Julia’s no good

Monday, July 26, 2010

Does a Bear Shit in the Woods?

I’m sad, depressed,
A heavy chest.
Frustrated and anxious
At a PM so unctuous.
A woman so inept,
Promises broken, unkept.
Insincere, so vacuous.
Ineptitude so miraculous,
A woman of vanity,
Testing my sanity.
Hypocritical, a sham,
Every policy a scam.
Such pride and conceit,
A smile masked by deceit.
The lies and fabrications,
More frustrations.
Wasted spending in haste,
So wrong, such waste.
I’ve become a prophet of doom
Living in Gillard’s vacuum.
She won’t deliver the goods?
Does a bear shit in the woods?

Sunday, July 25, 2010

The Big Prize

26th July, 2010

There is a Labor lady named Jules
Who breaks all credibility rules
She fails to connect
With the nation she's wrecked
Labor can't keep treating voters like fools

There is a Liberal leader named Tony
Who Labor tries to lambast as phoney
But as his life achievements reveal
He's both sincere and real
And the criticism is a load of baloney

So as Tony and Jules contest the big prize
And stand before discerning voters eyes
Recall all the failures and spin
And the deep debt we're in
Don't be sucked in by Labor's bullshit and lies