5 YEARS OF HELL: 2007 - 2011 (Part Five)

Part Five (of six), as told by Kevin Rudd (and Julia Gillard)

2010: 'IT'S ALL DOWNHILL FROM HERE'

“The polls have turned against you Kevin
And Julia’s got the numbers to force a spill”
What a conniving bitch, since the CPRS switch
My poll numbers have all been downhill

Why on earth did I take her advice?
I should’ve called a double-dissolution election
But that’s all in hindsight, and I’ve lost this fight
Julia is the Labor Party’s preferred selection

So I’m out on my arse just like that
As the faceless men stick their knives in my back
I didn’t get a return bout, they’ve turfed me out
I’m no more than a washed up old hack

So the redhead assumes the mantle of PM
And calls an election almost immediately
The only time I speak is to provide Oakes with a leak
If I can’t be PM, neither can she

I’ll hold these bastards to ransom
And demand the Foreign Affairs job
Or I’ll bring it all down, run Labor out of town
And completely destroy this mob

Julia Gillard continues telling the tale:

I can’t believe I’ve come this far so quickly
And risen to become the leader of Labor
I’m the PM, thanks to the faceless men
And a very deeply embedded sabre

I almost immediately call an election
To capitalise on my political honeymoon
Before people realise the extent of Labor’s demise
I’ll prove I’m politically opportune

I’ll peel off the focus-group slogans
To maximise my voter appeal
But when that bulldust fails, and Abbott prevails
I’ll introduce another Julia: “and this one is real”

But I’m losing all the momentum
Despite having an 18-seat head start
I keep on tripping, all authority slipping
Tony Abbott is a real work of art!

Now there’s murmurs of a deal with the Greens
As the polls point to a cliffhanger
There’s talk the ALP backs a new Carbon Tax
It’s not looking too good for this ranga

So I go on TV in the final desperate days
I’m desperate, I beg and I plead
To the voters I say, full sincerity on display
“There’ll be no Carbon Tax under the Government I lead”

Meanwhile…..

Rudd’s been killed off but it hasn’t assisted
As unrest within Labor has continued and persisted
Gillard lacks gravitas and leadership skills
Any Prime Ministerial authority she quickly kills

It’s election day, and all the polls point to a cliffhanger.
Labor has an 18-seat majority, but 3 years of waste & mismanagement has tested voter patience.
And Rudd’s political assassination has angered many, particularly in Queensland.
Who will previal: Gillard or Abbott?

Stay tuned for the final installment, part 6:

2010-11: 'DAYLIGHT ROBBERY'