The Winningest of Losers

I can run faster than you, but I can't win the race

I've got you covered, but you I cannot displace

I got more votes than you, but you win the election

You promise stability, I sense insurrection

My party won 14 seats, yours lost 16

Your promise of credibility will never be seen

The voters swung to me, they swung against you

You scraped in with the Independents 'pas de deux'

So as you "open the curtains to let in the light"

I promise you you're in for one hell of a fight

Your lame coalition with the lunatic fringe

Will see your 'stable' government quickly unhinge

You can have Oakeshott, he's clearly unstable

And while Wilkie is willing, he is clearly unable

Windsor's been sucked in by his cousin spinmeister

And watch your back with Rudd; he's still the same shyster

So I'll sit back and watch as you slowly implode

This disastrous government I confidently forebode

Bad leadership, poor policies and mismanagement

As the Labor deficit and debt continues to augment

So whilst I offer you my most sincere congratulations

Don't get too far ahead of yourself with your aspirations

To the dustbin of history you will be consigned

And next time I'll be first across the finishing line

'D-DAY'

Please not 3 more years of ALP incompetence

What a disater that'd be, in anybody's conscience

Please not 3 more years of Gillard's inane policies

3 more years of her untruths, her blatant lies, her fallacies

Please not 3 more years of Swan's debt accumulation

3 more years of the head wobbler will seal our own damnation

Please not 3 more years of Bob Brown and his Greens

3 more years will demonstrate what bad governance means

Please not 3 more years of the unbearable Penny Wong

3 more years of her arrogance is simply and plainly wrong

Please not 3 more years of Conroy & his obsolete NBN

3 more years of this lunatic & we'll be laughing stock again

Please not 3 more years of Roxon's poor policies by stealth

3 more years of her cannot be good for anybody's health

Please not 3 more years of Kevin Rudd and his distractions

3 more years of his leaks & lies & destabilising actions

If the 3 Independents want stability they must act with great volition

No more Labor, no more lies: they must back the Coalition

So on D-Day as the Independents finally come to a decision

Let's hope & pray they choose Abbott or risk ridicule and derision

Independents Day

Independent men of independent thought
Men of strong conviction whose vote cannot be bought
Independent men who'll make decisions that are right
Not afraid to ask tough questions, not afraid to pick a fight

Independent men who've walked away from party pacts
Who, as they reach a decision, should just stick to the facts
Labor lost 16 seats whilst the Coalition won 14
Clearly the Australian voters have vented their spleen

Sick of Labor mismanagement and their rorts and waste
A swing against Labor of 5.4, we want them out post haste
A primary vote to Labor of just 38%
There is no ambiguity about what the voters meant

The Coalition got 5.7% more of the primary vote
And lead the 2PP votes, independents please take note
The Coalition has won 73 seats, Labor just 72
On every single measure, the decision's been made for you

More votes, more preferences, more seats, a positive swing of 1.6
Don't be sucked in by Labor's deceitful bag of tricks
The Coalition deserve to govern, they've earnt it by every measure
If you back the ALP, you'll bring about much displeasure

Listen to your own constituents, they want conservative rule
Any other decision you'll be forever branded as a fool
Every statistic says the voters have branded Labor as a failure
So please back the Coalition and restore order to Australia