Thursday, March 31, 2011


(With apologies to Billy Joel's "We didn't start the fire")

Julia Gillard, Penny Wong, Always talking, always wrong
Boring speakers, Asylum seekers, Martin Ferguson
Jenny Macklin, Simon Crean, waffling on, what do they mean?
Insulation, no salvation, Nicola Roxon

Promises, Broken, many lies are spoken
Gillard’s carbon tax lies, as our prosperity dies
Albanese, cold sweat, Australia’s got a record debt
Unemployment, incompetent, prosperity goodbye

We didn’t blow the surplus
It was just a number, go back to your slumber
This is the Gillard circus
And we’re now in huge debt Another Labor regret

Stephen Conroy, NBN, wasted billions, once again,
Peter Garrett, such a parrot, he sold his soul
Kim Carr, gone too far, Policies, quite bizarre,
K Rudd, such a dud, God what an @55h01e!

Bowen, Wayne Swan, Australians have all been conned
Rob McLelland, Tony Burke, Emerson is such a jerk
Evans, Plibersek, another billion? What the heck
Mark Arbib, answers glib, write another blank cheque


Kate Ellis, God help us, Bob McMullin, distress
Faulkner, by far, the biggest bore in Australia
L.Ferguson, union thug, power is his own drug
Greg Combet, by his side, union favours not denied

Stephen Smith, genuine, Budget surplus? Flying swine
Nick Sherry, sorry, front bench is no-go
Shorten, no symmetry, such a union lackey
Maxine McKew, a “psycho”, where the f%#k did she go?!


Kevin Rudd, strange man, stranger in a foreign land
Dickhead, thickhead, socialist persuasion
Gillard’s reckless spendathon, every policy so wrong
Oh my, not again, another billion dollars gone

Wayne Swan, Penny Wong, more policy we’ve got so wrong
Big pay day, blown away, what else do I have to say?


B.E.R., wasted cash, unions building up their stash,
Corrupt, disrupt, build a new Gillard shrine
Boat people all in line, welfare state is all mine
Look after your new neighbor, welfare bludgers vote Labor

No more fortune, surplus gone, heavy spending, withdrawn
Foreign debt, don’t mention debt, borders weakened, regret
Billions wasted, I am sure, must stop spending, there’s no more,
Wayne Swan, it’s all gone, you can’t spend it any more


Wednesday, March 30, 2011


She steps up to bat in the bottom of the eighth
Trying to get her team home on sheer blind faith
Can she bring home the bacon? Can she win this game?
She needs 3 home runs to be in the Hall of Fame

Here’s the first pitch, I can see her knees trembling
And she’s had a big swing with the “People’s Assembly”
This is her solution to the Climate Change debate
But she struck out, she’s swinging like a rusty old gate

Despite her first strike she now looks more relaxed
She winds up, eyes light up, “There’ll be no Carbon Tax”
The crowd are excited, she’s feeling the love
But the balls whizzes past her into the catcher’s glove

The pressures on with 2 strikes, she can’t afford any more
Her next attempt is a “Processing centre in East Timor”
There’s a buzz amongst the fans as they all scream and shout
But it’s a third strike, 3 misses, it’s over “YOU’RE OUT”!

She traipses off sadly, a most abject failure
She was carrying the hopes of all of Australia
But her attempted ‘home runs’ were pathetic tries
3 promises, 3 failures, 3 more Gillard lies

Tuesday, March 29, 2011


Come on Tony, lift your game, the win’s there for the taking
You’re very close to proving you’re a Prime Minister in the making

But something’s missing, not quite right, you must take the next step
And prove to the doubting Thomas’s that you are their best bet

Don’t get me wrong, I am a fan, I think you’ve been superb
But sadly your ‘disapproval’ rating continues to perturb

The voters know Labor is toxic, and Gillard’s a dishonest person
And if they stick with this useless mob, things will only worsen

You’ve secured your Conservative base, and a fine job you’ve done of that
But it’s time to show the rest of them exactly where you’re at

Let’s see some strong initiatives, leave Labor second-guessing
If you can expose them for their weaknesses, it will be a great blessing

Remind the folks of all the waste, the billions recklessly blown
Then demonstrate your positive plans, make the economy your own

Expose Wayne Swan and demonstrate the economic illiterate he’s been
Recall the waste, the bungled plans, the worse management we’ve seen

Then offer your positive alternatives, your plans to rebuilt the budget
Release the details to the voting public, allow them all to judge it

They’re looking to be convinced, they’re longing for a viable choice
Forget the negatives & bitching Tone, it’s time to be a positive voice

Labor’s been riddled with broken promises and failed implementation
Step up Tony, we need a leader to restore pride to our great nation

It’s really hard to comprehend how far we’ve slumped in just 4 years
As this Labor Government has proved to be the sum of all our fears

But there’s more to being viable than simply pointing out their flaws
Take a stand Tone, be the man Tone, rise up to the cause

Get your A-team mobilised crafting policies and creative solutions
To get our great nation firing again, not bogged down in retributions

The blinkered media does you no favours with their terribly biased reporting
But with a positive policy plan the doubters will soon be yours supporting

A positive agenda from the coalition is the recipe for success
And when asked if they approve of Tony Abbott, they’ll be quick to answer ‘YES’

What's Eating Paul Keating?

Got home late from work after being held up in a meeting
Flicked on 7.30 just in time to see Paul Keating
I enjoy Keating sometimes, but the enjoyment’s often fleeting
I can tolerate his sharp wit but I hate it when he’s bleating

But what I saw was a very sombre ageing past PM
Eager to knife the backroom boys , eager to condemn
“The government’s authority to rule was torn away from them
The soulcase of the party destroyed by the faceless men”.

“Good men like Iemma & Watkins thrown out on the street
The spirit of the party fractured, smashed from head to feet
The party machinery’s responsible for this massive defeat
Bernie Riordan long ago should’ve been dead meat”.

“Putting Robertson in charge will only be further impeding
Jumping on trains & buses doesn’t make him good at leading
He brought Iemma down at the party’s very own conference meeting
He’s lost all moral authority & with him they’ll cop another beating”!

Branding Hawker’s “sicko populism” as proof of no belief
“And their addiction to the polls will not bring them any relief
They’re lead in Gillard’s saddle bags, they must turn over a new leaf
Or they’ll be in opposition for many years of angst & pain & grief”.

His “Road Runner to Hewson’s coyote” tale shows he’s still delusional
When questioned about Gillard’s continued struggles for approval
Although he won’t be drawn to comment on the prospects of her removal
His sad voice denotes a man who knows they’ve lost kit and caboodle

He’s philosophical when asked why Labor voters were so quick to leave
But strongly denies the cancer’s spread to Canberra, a moment of qui vive?
Then I wondered why Keating was so demure, resigned, almost relieved
Because deep down in his heart of hearts, even he doesn’t believe.

Monday, March 28, 2011

What the heck Plibersek?!

(Sung to the tune of “On the Road Again”)

Tanya Plibersek
I’m sick of your Labor Party, such a train wreck
I've had it with your lies and condescending ways
I can’t way til you’re history Plibersek

Tanya Plibersek
Buy your way out of trouble with a blank cheque
But now there’s so much debt
And we haven’t seen the worst yet
Tell your story walking Plibersek

Tanya Plibersek
Hearing you speak is a pain in the neck
You roll your eyes and sigh as if to say “oh heck”
Don’t be so arrogant Plibersek

Tanya Plibersek
B-grade minister, wish you’d relocate to Quebec
Spare us from the pain Plibersek


Denial is a river in Egypt
Denial is a Labor affliction
Denial is when you believe your own lies
Denial is a Labor addiction

Misunderstanding is a lass under a sign
Misunderstanding is a Labor assurance
Misunderstanding and twisting their promise
Misunderstanding is Labor’s existence

Defence is what runs around your house
Defence is what Gillard blindly takes
Defence of her poor Government’s record
Defence of her liars and fakes

Offence keeps trespassers out
Offence is what you take to Labor policies
Offence at the constant waste
Offence at the lies and fallacies

Debate is what helps you catch fish
Debate is what this country deserves
Debate is what Labor shuts down
Debate is a war of nerves

Affront is the face that you see
Affront is the emotion you sense
Affront at Labor’s constant lies & waste
Affront and a sense of offence

Opinion is a wheel in a gearbox
Opinion is what Labor try to shut down
Opinion is what Labor shove down your throat
Opinion of Prime Minister Bob Brown

Sunday, March 27, 2011


I searched high and wide
At first loathe to deride
A Prime Minister ‘Missing in Action’
But she didn’t appear
She was out of here
Not to be involved in such dissatisfaction

What weakness she shows
Like Rudd, she never goes
Where she may be exposed to bad news
It’s really no shock
She hid under a rock
As Labor voters vented their abuse

Where did she enshroud
To avoid the maddening crowd?
Who vented their spleen at the cost of living
I looked for her face
All over the place
Amongst the crowd who were most unforgiving

She couldn’t be found
She’d gone underground
So weak and so lacking in bravery
Her leadership lacks
Hiding behind her new tax
A tax so unfair and unsavory

Where were you Jules?
Treating us all like fools
Afraid to be aligned with such a bad Labor day
She was in the foetal position
Shocked by the admonition
Our gutless leader was indeed M.I.A.

During the NSW campaign
Julia announced her tax pain
And staked her reputation thereon
But after such sound rejection
She sensed the disaffection
And like a puff of smoke, she was gone


Call the cops, alert the press, this is massive news
There’s been a massacre of sorts, NSW is disabused
After the success of Baillieu, we now have Barry O’Farrell
As Labor Governments nationwide are bent over a barrel

There’s been a massive bloodbath just across the border
The result of 16 years of complete Labor disorder
A party wracked with scandal is sent embarrassingly packing
A party with a black heart and a soul sadly lacking

The people sent a message, a message loud and clear
A message you can only hope Gillard & Swan will hear
We don’t like spin & lies & rorts & repeated poor behaviour
A strong and united coalition is our electoral saviour

The vast majority of voters nominated the rising cost of living
As the reason why they were so mad, so completely unforgiving
So as Gillard tries to introduce her dishonest Carbon Tax
She must reassess her position due to cost of living impacts

If she goes ahead with this mad plan she’s signing her death warrant
This is a tax on the air we breathe, a tax plainly abhorrent
The madness known as ‘Climate Change’ is such a poisoned chalice
But the maddest way to act on it is with unfairness and malice

This is an impost on us all with more cost of living pressures
And to see the fall of another Labor mob is one of life’s true pleasures
The people of NSW have sent Gillard a message, loud and clear
If you introduce this stupid tax, you’ll be out of here!

Saturday, March 26, 2011

R.I.P. N.S.W. A.L.P.

Click on images to enlarge
Will the NSW Labor massacre send a message
To power brokers, both Federal and New South Wales?
That the spin & lies & focus group obsession
Has seen our quality of life run off the rails

Will Bruce Hawker ever get to understanding
That Australians aren’t as stupid as he thinks
The average person in the street hates being swindled
And that the Labor brand well and truly stinks

Will Mark Arbib stop playing stupid games now?
Pretending he’s a kingmaker wielding power!
Walking aimlessly around the corridors of parliament
All the while thinking he’s in the ivory tower

Kristina Keneally looks good on the television
But she’s just a mouthpiece for a rotting smelly corpse
As the pundits try to play down Labor’s election thrashing
Their last remaining shred of credibility warps

To listen to Joe Tripodi distort the numbers
And say that O’Farrell hasn’t received a strong endorsement
If you ever need a reminder at what’s wrong with this mob
His comments serve as a positive reinforcement

73% of voters nominated this government’s incompetence
And the cost of living for them voting for the coalition
But Tony Burke says this is no reflection on Federal Labor
He’s yet another useless & delusional Labor politician

Frank Sartor tries to minimise the consequences
Of a 20%+ swing against this scandalous mob
Try telling that to the 27 Labor sitting members
Who’ll wake up this morning looking for a new job

There’s Bruce Hawker on my TV talking drivel
Saying for Labor it’ll be a particularly tough night
Here’s a bitter twisted man served a huge lesson
A man who thinks Labor power is a preemptive right

Hawker's trying to blame the media for the loss
And Joel Fitzgibbon and Tripodi vehemently agree
There's nothing quite so sad and degrading
There's none so blind as those who will not see

It’s taken 16 years for NSW people to wake up
And get rid of a party riddled with ineptness
67% of voters are completely dissatisfied
At a party so wasteful, scandalous and reckless

So it’s goodbye to the NSW Labor Party
To oblivion you’re sentenced for at least a dozen years
It’s like being told that you’ve been cured of cancer
And the feeling of doom & despair just disappears

The ALP right faction which has been decimated
The faction which gave us Plibersek, Emerson & Burke
I can tolerate some of them, but Craig Emerson?
I long to rid ourselves of that obnoxious jerk

But I digress momentarily from the topic at hand
That being the election result from our southern neighbor
The longest soap opera in political history is over
As we witness the continued decline of all things Labor

Friday, March 25, 2011


Back in the 70’s the hippies were distressed
“This is serious man, we’re certainly not fooling”
Mankind was killing the globe with its’ reckless living
And was responsible for dangerous “Global Cooling”

Next they said that “Acid Rain” is going to kill us
It’ll be the end of the entire human race
The acid in the rain is toxic and poisonous
It’ll burn your skin and it’ll melt your face

The 20th century is just about to finish
A new century to be welcomed by our nation
But planes will fall out of the sky & millions will die
The “Millennium Bug” will destroy a generation

“Bird Flu” will spell the end of civilisation
H1N1 will wipe out the entire species
Just don’t go near a feathered vertebrate
And for God’s sake don’t step on its’ faeces

“Genetically Modified” food will make you sick
And you really shouldn’t vaccinate your kids
“Mad Cow Disease” will make you go quite bonkers
The “Hole in the Ozone” puts humanity on the skids

“SARS” will wreak fatal havoc throughout Asia
“West Nile Virus” will kill millions if infected
But like most scare tactics with political motivation
The profit$ of doom’s predictions were confected

The “Global Warming” scare campaign has momentum
As the pigs line up with their snouts in the trough
But if and when the scientists stop getting bankrolled
They’ll very quickly lose interest and drop off

More the fool you if you believe the scare tactics
If you allow yourself to be subject to this fright
You’d never go outside, and you’d be constantly horrified
That the sky will fall in as you sleep tonight


Tim Flannery, on the ALP payroll
Paid to travel far & wide and spread the word
Tim Flannery, professional agitator
Living proof that you can’t polish a turd

Tim Flannery, a man of bold predictions
Sadly every claim he’s made has proven incorrect
And with his dismal record of prognosticating
You can’t but be amazed at his lack of intellect

Tim Flannery, Gillard’s useful idiot*
A mercenary for Labor’s thought police
But with his every spoken word soon discredited
We watch as any credibility continues to decrease

Tim Flannery’s latest claim has left many speechless
Whilst being paid to extol the sum of all our fears
The end of the world is coming if we don’t act soon
There’ll be hell to pay in just 1000 years

1000 years? You have got to be kidding me!
1000 years before the slightest benefit might occur
1000 years is 1000 years away
Tim Flannery, you’re a credibility saboteur!

Tim Flannery, where were you 1000 years ago?
What influence did you have at the Battle of Hastings?
The Norman Conquest and William the Conquerer
Are you blaming these for your current proposed wastings?

With the Holy Roman Emperors uprising in Germany
Whilst in India the Chola Dynasty live to fight another day
And the Fujiwara clan rule politics in Japan
Are these things responsible for the climate of today?

The Fatimid Empire of Egypt reached its zenith
In Korea, the Goryeo Kingdom ruled with an iron fist
In China, the triangular power struggle continued
1000 years ago: is there anything I’ve missed?

There was the decline of the monarchy in France
And the last caliphs of Córdoba in Spain
The overthrowing of the Anterior Lê Dynasty of Vietnam
These things sure caused today’s climate much pain

Tim Flannery, based on your lunatic predictions
And your habit of gross and ridiculous misinforming
What happened 1000 years ago in the High Middle Ages
Is responsible for today’s “Global Warming”

Who knew that all the events in Asia & Europe
As many a dynasty struggled for domination
Could be deemed responsible, 1000 years later
For a climate change that will "destroy the entire nation"?

Instead of directing your anger at Flannery & Gillard
For hoisting this ridiculous tax upon us all
We should blame Ibn al-Haytham, the mad scientist from Iraq
And the rise of the Byzantine Empire, and it’s fall

Tim Flannery, you are the gift that keeps on giving
And whatever you’re being paid by Labor ain’t sufficient
Every time you speak your nonsense and diatribe
You’re constantly exposed as distrustful and deficient!


Tuesday, March 22, 2011


Thanks to a demolished budget and burgeoning debt
Gillard & Swan have come up with their best plan yet
Using their magnificent understanding of the economies of scale
They’ve decided to tax the air you exhale

“This new tax is brilliant, it’ll balance the books”
Says an excitable Swan with one of his vacant looks
“Everybody breathes so they’ll have to pay this tax”
He doesn’t give a damn about cost of living impacts

It’ll give him the revenue required to give his life purpose
For his delusional promise to return the budget to surplus
While he’s busy spending like a mad drunken sailor
He tries to balance the books but he’s an abysmal failure

“A brilliant new tax Wayne, this plan’s a no brainer”
An appropriate term for our treasury entertainer
Julia’s most impressed that she can impress the Greens
And try to balance the budget through her dishonest means

She’s a liar, a hypocrite, a vacuous person
And with this tax in place our living standards will worsen
But she’s a slave to Bob Brown and desperate to succeed
So she buckles and weakens and gives Brown what he needs

“CO2 is deadly” she says “An evil pollution”
And the liar has revealed her brilliant solution
According to Gillard it’s a tax or it’s goodbye
So please don’t exhale or we’re all gonna die!

Monday, March 21, 2011


They brought him down kicking and screaming
A man with few characteristics redeeming
Angry and rude and disrespectful
Ignorant, arrogant, uncivil and neglectful

A knife in the shoulder and an axe in the back
An arrow in the spine as his backbone cracks
A sword through the trapezius, a stab in the neck
He falls to his knees, he’s a tragic wreck

Behind the dying corpse stands a redheaded ghoul
“Die quietly will you, you obnoxious fool”
As she reached for another lance to impale
“And once you’re gone I’ll inherit the holy grail”.

As he gasps for his last breath, his pulse very weak
He looks up with a gasp “Please Julia, may I speak?
You’ve killed me off with savage and cruel complicity
But what will you do about programmic specificity”?!


Just 3 little letters and one small word
But for Labor it’s the bomb!
Spend, spend, spend: TAX TAX TAX
Don’t they do it with aplomb?!

Alcopops was their first foray
Rudd & Roxon dressed it up as health
But in true Labor style they wanted more
“We can’t have people building wealth”

They then sent $900 cheques in the mail
In a moment of irrational panic
And the budget was blown to smithereens
Due to excess spending, mad and manic

So how does Labor repay burgeoning debt?
They search for a new tax
Any working Australian trying to get ahead
Never has time to relax

“Those miners are making too much cash
Let’s tax the greedy bastards”
But Rudd underestimated their might and scorn
It was a nice try while it lasted!

The miner’s won that bloody war
With Rudd’s head on a platter
But Gillard made a lame compromise
But that’s another subject matter

It was yet another Labor tax
Another slap in the face for successful folks
Talk that the tax was a win for all Australians
Was just another ALP hoax

Up went the tax on cigarettes
More money for Labor coffers
Any opportunity to repay the waste
Labor was open to all offers

So with debt spiralling towards $200B*
And wasteful spending out of control
Labor continues to spend and tax
Despite falling opinion polls

Because they’ve promised to balance the budget
‘In 3 years and 3 years early’
They only get away with such dishonest talk
Because it gets lost in the hurly burly

So with mountains of debt accruing
At the rate of $100 million a day
Our dishonest incompetent treasurer
Continues to betray

When the tragic floods hit our country
Australians donated with great generosity
Gillard decides on another new tax
As her polls start to slide with terminal velocity

Just as we donate for our fellow Aussies
To help them out in the hour of need
Gillard gives us the Flood Levy, a kick in the guts
Such ignorance, arrogance and greed

So just when you thought that they’d taxed us
To our very last hard-earned dollar
Now we get a tax on the air that we breathe
Such a disgraceful and dishonest squalor

Gillard and Labor lie to us every day
To try to justify their disgraceful waste
They’re even taxing the air that we breathe
They must be kicked out, post haste

*As at 18/3/2011, Government debt is $184 billion.

Escalating Labor spending plans = MORE LABOR TAXES

Click on image to enlarge


Click on image to enlarge
More boats are arriving unchecked
With many an illegal immigrant
Overcrowding and lengthy detention
Anger and violence is most imminent

A government’s lost control of our borders
And the boats keep on coming unchecked
An Armada will come now the weather’s improved
The Australian spirit has been wrecked

Australians welcome our immigrant friends
But there are proper channels to be obeyed
But the Labor lovies weakened the laws
And people smugglers resume their trade

Gillard and Bowen remain in denial
Allowing their insipid laws to be exploited
Hundreds of innocent lives lost as sea
Thanks to yet another Labor policy maladroited

Christmas Island locals are angry
And detainees are very irate
But for Labor it’s just a small inconvenience
As they pursue their desired welfare state

“Bring them in, the more the merrier”
The bleeding hearts are absolutely glowing
But a 400 bed detention centre
Is full and dangerously overflowing

This government continues to demonstrate
A complete and utter lack of policy skills
And in this case their stupidity and ignorance
Has created a disastrous policy that kills

Click on image to enlarge

Sunday, March 20, 2011


Click on image to enlarge

Step right up folks, step right up
Come and see Bob Brown’s new puppet show
Give us a dime and a moment of your time
And you’ll soon witness ‘Quid Pro Quo’

The red haired dummy sold her soul
To big bad Bob and his green machine
He’s now controlling all her levers
And she’s a helpless puppet to his regime

Big bad Bob is just so clever
He’s wedged Gillard and her clueless mob
The Labor Party is decimated
By big bad Bob’s big hatchett job

Now Gillard sits obediently
As big bad Bob controls and conducts
He has his hands on her controls
She’ll say whatever he instructs

He wants a tax on carbon dioxide?
“No problems Bob, consider it done”
Bob recognises the power he wields
“Oh my gosh, won’t this be fun"

Step right up folks, step right up
The funniest show you've ever seen
As Julia sits and moves her lips
"It's not easy being Green"!


Julia goes about her business
Of destruction with great ease
But if you lay down with dogs
You will get up with fleas

She’s lay down with dogs
Of the Green variety
Now she’s paying a high price
For her impropriety

Losing votes to the left
The Greens set Labor’s order of business
Leaking votes to the right
As the latest Newspoll does bear witness

She’s wedged herself in between
A rock and a hard place
The voting public scratch their heads
A bemused look on their collective face

Our PM has lost her way
Her party is disintegrating
The backflips, falls, manouvring
More attuned to roller skating

Her latest attempt to unwedge herself
Has come in two parts this past week
Only serving to reinforce
That she’s insipid, lost and weak

She changes tack to suit the polls
Whatever the latest focus group exposes
But her lies and inconsistencies
Are right under our noses

First she forms a coalition
With the loonie leftie Greens
But as that goes quickly pear shaped
She calls them a party of extremes

Trying to distance herself from them
She’s now aware of her fatal plight
She brands them extremists
And then moves quickly to the right

Now she brands herself conservative*
When it comes to social matters
Such as euthanasia & gay marriage
Her credentials are in tatters

She’s been forced to renege upon
Her past socialist beliefs
And she expects us all to believe
She’s turned over a new leaf?!

Julia, you chose your path
Now the Greens are giving you a shellaking
And they’ve led you on a merry dance
And now you’re frantically backtracking

But you can’t treat us all with such disdain
Just because Bob Brown’s tied you in knots
You’re just another dishonest Laborite
And a leopard never changes its spots

*The article in question:

Saturday, March 19, 2011


Click on image to enlarge
Watch your back Julia
The faceless men are coming
They want to have a word to you
About conduct unbecoming

Remember back to June last year
When you betrayed your leader?
At first it was a great relief
Now they’re saying “we don’t need her”

Because you’ve proven to be just as bad
Even worse if that is feasible
All we ask for is some honesty
And decision making sound & reasonable

Remember in the early days
When you had goodwill in spades
But now what’s that stabbing pain you feel?
It’s a knife between your shoulder blades

Because you’ve proven to be a poor PM
With no grasp of what’s required
Now you find yourself in a shitfight
And the public’s sick and tired

The faceless men aren’t happy Jules
They’re absolutely dirty
At your weak insipid leadership
And a primary vote of 30

For years Howard gave us the leadership
That’s required for our great nation
But with your lies and spin, it seems you’ve been
To the Rudd school of obfuscation

The polls are on a downward slide
You’re leading Labor to oblivion
Even rusted on lefties are angry at you
The pain and angst that you’ve been givin’ ‘em

Endless waste and spending sprees
Have typified your time in power
And now in order to repay your debt
You’re borrowing $4 million per hour*

With an absolute economic illiterate
In charge of treasury
You, Rudd & Swan should be rounded up
And charged with treachery

The list of gripes against you Jules
Is too long to mention in this verse
Debt, NBN, the boat people
Your time in power has been a curse

The budget’s blown, all surplus gone
No cash left in the bank
And for the mess we now find ourselves in
It’s you that we must thank

So watch your back Julia
It won’t be long now til they call
And for this little black duck so sick of lies
It’ll be a delight to watch you fall

The faceless men rally the troops
They’re counting votes methinks
But you could change leaders every other week
It’s brand ‘Labor’ which bloody stinks

It stinks because the Australian public
Is sick of the constant spin and lies
So open the door, let the faceless men in
So they can cut you down to size

* “You’re borrowing $4 million per hour” = $100 million a day

Friday, March 18, 2011


Laurie Oakes (left) and Jubba the Hutt

What planet are you from Lauries Oakes?
Each week you dish up articles full of lame jokes
Too many years in Canberra has robbed you of your soul
Now you report like you’re on the ALP payroll

“Jabba the Hutt” according to the “Latham Diaries”
You constantly fail to make the probing enquiries
Of Labor politicians who obfuscate and lie
Your bias is for all to see, no matter how hard you try

And any time you do criticise the ALP
You’ll whack the Libs as well so as not to be
Accused of selling out your obvious love of the left
But your articles & interviews always leave me bereft

Because you never present a balanced argument
And to the Labor Party your bias is heaven sent
Ignoring all the anger and public sentiment
Is a bloody disgrace, much to your detriment

As Labor and Gillard languish horribly in the polls
Our country horrified at who’s at the controls
The best you can write is about your old mate Rudd
For just how long can you support the proven dud?!

As you wrote this article, what the hell were you thinking?
Tell me honestly Laurie, had you been drinking?!
I know of nobody who can stand it when Rudd speaks
But you remain loyal to him because he gave you the leaks

So if anything I suppose I’d call you truehearted
In your support for Rudd even though he’s departed
The top office, and the top job is his no longer
No matter how wrong Labor is you’ll say the Libs are wronger!

And how on earth can you state that Gillard’s “found her feet”
When she’s on track to take Labor to a demoralising defeat
A leader with no instincts, no gravitas, no clue
But her plummeting approval rating seems alien to you

Has there ever been a more unstable government Laurie?
What would it take for you to look back and say ‘sorry’
That you misjudged Labor and how utterly useless they are
Or would that possibility be a bridge too far?

Rudd once cleaned your house, and your friendship was born
But did he happen upon your hidden stash of porn?
What other reason is there for your continued rave reviews?
Or has he got compromising photos he’s threatening to use?!

Article in question here:


The Ups & Downs of a Conservative Voter

One minute I’m up, the next minute I’m down
One moment a smile, the next a big frown
I ain’t got much money but I’ve got a great job
But I’m lumbered with this useless Labor mob

I’m fit as a fiddle but I’ve got aches in my bones
I’ll listen to Mozart and The Rolling Stones
Never broken the law but I’ve bent a few rules
But I’m stuck with these hopeless ALP fools

I’m loving my life even though I’ve got pressures
A spring in my step but bogged down by stresses
20-20 vision but I still need my glasses
But I’m forced to endure these Labor jackasses

I’m up with the fashion but still love my flares
The sweetest of dreams and the worst of nightmares
Confident and brash, then cut down to size
And I have to put up with Labor’s constant lies

Money in the bank but my Mastercard is maxed out
Worried about floods and concerned about the drought
I love a good laugh but can cry like a baby
And Labor’s screwed everything, and that’s not a maybe

I’m as poor as a beggar yet gamble like a high roller
Rational and sound yet depressed and bipolar
In perfect health yet suffering from incontinence
I shake my head in disgust at Labor’s incompetence

I’m as brave as a lion yet timid as a mouse
I’ll party all night or stay locked away in my house
I’ll watch all 'The Sopranos', then the box-set of 'Glee'
And this is the worst government I will ever see

I love black & white movies and the new 3D sensation
I respect honesty and despise obfuscation
But one thing that remains completely the same
Is the waste and incompetence from Julia & Wayne

I’m as free as a bird but a slave to restrictions
Such a simple life but so many contradictions
But the one constant in my life since Howard got booted
Is the annoyance of watching my country get rooted

The ups & downs of Labor ‘governing’ this place
Leave me with a permanent happy-sad face
The yin and yang of my every existence
I fight madly against with passive resistance

Thursday, March 17, 2011

Arthur visits Potemkin's Village!

Click on image to enlarge


As this inept government keeps us perplexed
And stumbles from one problem to the next
I’ve noticed that in the most recent debate
A number of ministers have been quiet of late

Our treasurer is a classic example of this
I’m not saying for a moment he’s a person I miss
But when a deputy PM should be showing his head
You’ll find Swan sucking his thumb under his bed

“It’s all just too hard” he’ll be heard to say
“Please tell the media to go away”
And when tough questions are asked about the level of debt
Swanny mumbles and bungles in a ball of sweat

And where the hell has Penny Wong been?
Our Finance Minister (?!) has hardly been seen
Not that there’s anything wrong with that situation
As she’s been busy attempting a career levitation

She’d spent the last 3 years trying to justify
The merits of mankind’s greatest lie
But Wong was so wrong so they ushered her on
To see if she could try to sell another Labor con (that being Labor’s “economic credentials”!)

What’s happened to Labor’s great “health reform”
It’s been Roxon’s job to misinform
Unable to sell Labor’s great hospital myth
She’s been ordered to lie low & shut up forewith

What cowardice and dishonesty Labor’s been showin’
And no greater example than Christopher Bowen
Trying to justify the plethora of boatpeople coming here
As Julia orders “Please just be quiet dear….”

Hey Steve Conroy, where have you been?
Trying to sell your NBN plan so obscene?
Nobody can justify your exorbitant plan
So sit down & shut up you incompetent man

They’ve all been so quiet as their Labor boat sinks
And they try to perpetuate policies that clearly stink
As the Labor backstabbers lie patiently in wait
They’ve been awfully quiet of late

Wednesday, March 16, 2011


Arthur McArthur, cricketer. Circa 1962
A tribute to Arthur McArthur & friends as Arthur posts his 100th poem on this blog:

100 not out, well batted Art!
You’ve certainly tried to play your part
With your contributions at this site
We’ve all enjoyed the way you write

Well, maybe not all of us,
Some offer praise, some make a fuss
But one thing on which we all agree
You’ve elicited much repartee

We’ve listened to what you’ve said
And the bold replies from Big Ted
You never meant to pick a fight
But took some blows from The Black Knight

It seems you are a ladies man
With many a lovely female fan
There’s Maggie, Franny and Mother G
Elsie, Nettie and Rosemary

Nonna always gives you her 2 bobs worth
As do Shelley, Bushbabe and Fay of Perth
And even though Janey has moved
More than once you have proved

You like the ladies, like Shelley
Kym Durance, RoseB and Annie G,
Little Deb, Phoebe and Leonie,
And Pira, Sillyfilly and Marie

Everyone would have a say
On what you’d written on that day
You encountered many a livewire
Like Davo of the Red Empire

And Bill O Tas from over the Strait
Has proved a very loyal mate
Like Veritas and Mike Rafone
Dave & Watty and Mick Stone

Old Leftie chimes in for a chat
Kiwi and Phil Maguire like that
Doc Molloy’s always upbeat
And you must be quick on your feet

As the Dean and Mags are trading thoughts
AWB Investigator is exposing rorts
BVM Kingmaker and PSFR
Are chatting away with Isobar

Frank of Malvern is interesting
So too Reco, Hermit and Spin Baby Spin
Wake up Australia's always welcome here:
As are Rossco, GM and Spencer de Vere

Andrew of Fadden and John the Pom
Keep the conversations rolling on
CA of WA and Dave from Perth
Prove that Westerners provide much mirth

Seadrift, Frank and Al your Pal
Are very good at lifting morale
Peter, Bennoba and Jeff of FNQ
Always have encouraging words for you

Amazing Scenes often does your bidding
And many may ask RUKidding?!
Scooter, JK and Greg J of Seddon
Are very worthy of a mention

AllyPally is a favourite choice
And Potemkins Village is a Rolls Royce!
JK, TGordon and Andrewe
With John, Lyle & Scooter inspire me

The Artist formerly known as Chris
Sometimes thinks you take the piss
While Doc Martin, Gabs & Ron
Sometimes question what you’re on!

Philip Crowley's always nice
As are Andrew V and Barney Fife
And Formerly is still Curious
Making Harry Tick quite furious!

Well played Arthur, 100 not out
Apart from the arthritis, deafness & gout
You’re as spritely as the day you did start
Will you retire now, you silly old fart?!

Apologies if I’ve forgotten any worthy mentions. Thanks to everyone for your great encouragement and kind words over the past few years and for visiting my blog. I hope you’ve enjoyed my poems and political observations. You guys provide this ageing weary traveller much inspiration and hope for our future. I'm proud to say that, although my numbers pale in comparison to Andrew's 2 million hits per month, my little blog site which I set up in June last year has had over 6000 hits! How about that?! 3 years ago I didn't even know what a 'blog' was!

100 not out, I raise my bat, doff my cap and say “thanks for your support”!

Tuesday, March 15, 2011


My 'Thought Cloud' here:

Many words can represent
This lying, useless government
It’s certainly not a sine qua non
To access the nearest lexicon

Because words come freely to describe
This squanderous maladroit tribe
That fails every test it confronts
With unconsidered heedless stunts

3 ½ years of dereliction
They’re a living breathing contradiction
One moment inactive, the next most reckless
Irresponsible and feckless

Prone to gross prevarication
And with the Greens a bifurcation
Incompetence is top of mind
The populace are disinclined

How much impairment can they impose?
Such a rich source of polyphonic prose
Attaint, disgrace, dishonour, shame
Inapt, infelicitous, unskilled, disclaim

A leader defines the ‘Peter Principle’
So many more words inadmissible
A treasurer venal and fallacious
So many statements clearly mendacious

Picaresque and duplicitous
Fraudulent and unscrupulous
Venal, roguish, janus-faced
Any trust sorely misplaced

That entire last verse is dedicated
To the ALP I’ve never rated
So many reasons to distrust
A mob that leaves us all nonplussed

It seems I’ve been far too verbose
In my construction of this prose
But there’s just one word I do espouse
To describe this rabble: SHITHOUSE!

Monday, March 14, 2011


Click on image to increase size

Julia on Q&A: 'Quavering & Amateurish'

Julia on Q & A
I wondered what she’d have to say
How would she justify her lie
I half expected her to cry

A schoolgirl giggle at every question
Her posture gives me indigestion
She tells us of the Labor fairness
I’m astounded at her lack of awareness

That the voters are wanting to condemn
They’d prefer K-Rudd as their PM?!
She lies every time she opens her mouth
No wonder her polls are going south

Goodness me that’s Julian Assangë
Getting stuck into the shellshocked ranga
Accusing her of lies & treason
I think he’s right…but for different reasons!

Woops, she just mentioned Medicare
Careful Julia, don’t go there!
We all remember Medicare Gold
Another Julia failure story to be told

Amazing to hear the rusted ons
Clap as she tries to justify her cons
She's pursing her lips, flapping her hands
Making things up at every chance

She sounds quite shrill at that tough question
Not happy at the girl’s suggestion
That her NAPLAN scheme is most unfair
Julia’s lost for words right there!

A final question on her slaying of Rudd
She hides her hands to hide the blood
A movie comparison to Gwenyth Paltrow
Is typical of this surreal show

Surreal because Gillard sits there
That stupid grin and glowing hair
Oblivious to the anger in the community
Treating dissenters with impunity

That hour went too fast for my liking
But her poor performance was most striking
An hour of Gillard giggling and mincing
She was extremely unconvincing

If that’s the best that she can do
To appease the dissention and hullabaloo
She’ll never be able to justify this rort
And I leave you with this final thought:

What if the Australian voters had a ‘Sliding Door’*
And knew then what they’d voted for
When they elected a Rudd / Gillard ticket
They’d look back now and say “It’s just not cricket”

They’d say “I didn’t vote for a ragtag mob
Unable to perform the simplest job
They’ve wasted billions and I didn’t realise
They’d be so prone to ineptitude and lies”

So as the lights faded tonight on the QANDA set
After a performance she’d much rather forget
Julia turned to Tony Jones and said
“Let’s hit a bar, I need a red”

*Sliding Doors IMDB Website

Sunday, March 13, 2011


Julia Gillard, Carbon Tax Liar*
Says one thing then breaks her word
Proving the old adage true
You can try but you can’t polish a turd

Julia Gillard, disloyal deputy
Knifed her leader in the back
Been in government for just 3 ½ years
Just how much debt can her government wrack?

Julia Gillard, failed Prime Minister
She’s taken Labor’s approval to record lows
Just how long before she’s gone?
Only faceless men and the odd unionist knows

Julia Gillard, one of the gang of four
Who presided over many failed & wasteful plans
Quickly making our economy so bad
We’ll soon look with envy at Kazakhstan’s!

Julia Gillard, Education Minister
Implementer of the BER
After her disgraceful mismanagement of that farce
We should’ve been saying ‘Au Revoir’

Julia Gillard, great survivor
Despite many failures she doesn’t get the sack
Instead she rides Rudd’s coattails to the top
Then betrays him & stabs him in the back

Julia Gillard, Carbon Tax Liar
A disgrace to the office of PM
She’s lost the goodwill of the Australian people
And will never be trusted ever again

*"There will be no carbon tax under the government I lead".


They should’ve properly killed Kevin when they had the chance
But they settled for a combination of horror and romance
As the faceless men & Gillard acted on feelings of repulse
They cut Rudd off at the head but he still had a pulse

Rather than do the job properly with a complete assassination
They treated him with a strange mix of hatred and veneration
They deposed of the King in a plot both evil and most sinister
But then allowed him to stay on as our Foreign Minister

She says “Mr Rudd is a valued member of my front bench”
But Gillard could not and will not remove the deadly stench
So now Rudd sets his own agenda as he travels around the globe
The dull ache of revenge throbbing in his temporal lobe

Calling press conferences and sending out countless press releases
Rudd’s display of narcissism and egomania never ceases
They should’ve terminated Rudd in a plot most horrendous
Now Gillard can’t rein him in and he’s setting the agendas

Telling world super powers how to act and what to do
“I’m Kevin from Australia and I’m here to help you”
The little nerdy bloke from Australia is truly testing their patience
As he positions himself for a cushy job with the United Nations

They had their chance, the faceless men, to do a proper job on Rudd
To kill him off for good and rid us of the inept dud
But they blinked, they baulked, they resisted the final fatal blow
Rudd dodged a bullet, bided time and secured an escrow

Gillard had promised Rudd his beloved Foreign Affairs position
And slowly but surely Kevin plotted his own vengeful mission
Knowing full well Gillard hung on to power by a margin very slim
He made sure her first term as Prime Minister would be all about him

Passing himself off as Australia’s voice on the international stage
Ridiculing Gillard and the government and causing angst and rage
Described by Labor insiders as being “out of control”
Rudd soldiers on, his recalcitrance verified by Newspoll

For reasons I cannot understand Rudd retains a high approval
More reasons why they should’ve done a proper job of his removal
By remaining in a high profile job Rudd is clearly redefining
The meaning of disloyalty, subversion and undermining

So the man who destroyed our country in a manner unparalleled
Is extracting his own vengeance and making Gillard’s tenure hell
To use Tony Abbott’s words to stress my point in a manner animated
Labor should’ve seen to it that Rudd was “dead, buried, cremated”

For as long as he’s a minister he’ll be running his own race
Acting in a manner described as “irrational” “disgusting” “a disgrace”
They’ve allowed this megalomaniac to undermine the ALP
And left themselves open to ridicule as Rudd spruiks “Look at me”

So to the faceless men and union hacks who brought Rudd to his knees
I ask of you, I plead of you, I’m begging you to please
Do a hatchet job on Julia, and take Rudd with her in the fall
Kill off Swan as well, and Wong also, please rid us of them all

The waste, the lies, the incompetence, it’s not what we deserve
It’s blatantly clear this useless Government is not fit to serve
So do the job, assassinate, many a bloody Labor death
But this time do it properly: no pulse, heartbeat or breath


*All references to assassinations, death, fatal blows etc, are purely metaphorical

Click on images to enlarge

Friday, March 11, 2011


The Australian Labor Party dream is over
The Light on the Hill* is quickly expiring
Ben Chifley would be turning in his grave
As his once great party is now so uninspiring

When the party was formed in 1891
The brave men under the ‘Tree of Knowledge’
Could not have possible envisaged the mess of today
But even they would have to acknowledge

That their dream of a party for workers
And of a fair go for every Australian
Has been destroyed by the current ALP
And such values now seem foreign and alien

The once-great ALP is fractured
At it’s very heart is a rotting core
Former Prime Minister’s and great Labor men
Hate what’s come of the party they adore

Bob Hawke is left scratching his head
As his legacy has been completely destroyed
From a party of courage and positive thoughts
Labor is now completely bravery devoid

Paul Keating, love him or loathe him
At least he led with passion and vision
Unlike this incompetent government
Which is wrought with inertia and indecision

As for any decision they do make these days
Thoughtless and wasteful is the norm
So many billions of dollars pissed against the wall
All in the name of ‘reform’

The modern Labor bunkum started 4 years ago
When a new PM refused to follow Labor tradition
The people elected a narcissistic man named Kevin
And he set about on a destructive and failed expedition

His rudeness and intolerance knew no limits
As he pressed ahead with his own irrational agenda
But he eventually ran out of allies & friends
And didn’t get to contest a second referenda

His ‘loyal’ deputy usurped him in a coup
As the rotten core of Labor was flagrantly exposed
“Socially progressive” ideas and “a fair go for all”?
No: the faceless men simply thumbed their nose

Gillard pounced with the backing of unions
And planted a knife in Kevin’s back
She’d lied to his face and deposed the PM
And Abbott and the Liberals went on the attack

Abbott highlighted what a farce this government is
Exposing the incompetence in which Labor is mired
No wonder the mood of the nation’s so dark+
It’s because the ‘Light on the Hill’ has expired


Back to earth with a thud
The voters want her blood
Just another Labor dud
Even worse than Kevin Rudd

People sick of her lies
Have opened up their eyes
Voters now realise
She’s not worthy of top prize

She saw the polls in strife
So she sharpened up her knife
Took Rudd’s political life
Now she’s the one in strife

With just 30% primary vote
She’s gently hanging by the throat
Her chances of survival are remote
And the Greens have slipped her a promissory note

A slave to the Greens & Bob Brown
Her lies have cut her down
She has a deputy who’s a clown
And soon they’ll both be going down

Crashing back to earth
Due to her credibility dearth
Now the target of much mirth
Julia, what’s it all worth?

The faceless men appear
They want her out of here
Gillard’s full of fear
She won’t last another year

Thursday, March 10, 2011


As Gillard stood proudly in front of Congress
Her red hair & coat bright and glistening
She cleared her throat and started her speech
Problem was: nobody was listening

Dems & Republican’s shifted in their seats
The silence was deafening as she started
A hum of boredom permeated the room
You could’ve heard if a mouse had farted

Away she went on her droning way
Her voice echoing through the chamber
The look of angst on American faces
“Will she ever stop? Is there any danger”?!

She recited tales from somebody's childhood
And Bono's memories of a man on the moon
But her annoying vocals bounced off the walls
With the penetration of a contrabassoon

All of a sudden there was a stop in proceedings
The yanks jumped to their feet with rapturous applause
But much to their huge disappointment
It was no more than a momentary pause

They only clapped because they thought she was finished
They were shattered when she resumed her speech
A fast thinking clerk reached for the constitution
“Is there a rule about foreign leaders being impeached”?

She continued on with stories of mateship
And nonsensical tales of the ANZUS treaty
The speaker of the house was frantically writing
Actually, he was vandalising his desk with graffiti

As he scratched ‘B O R E D’ on his desk with a penknife
The room was slowly filling with rage
Then she stopped and they jumped to their feet again
But she was simply turning over the page

Once again there was a moment of silence
And the gallery earnestly stood and cheered
But as the murmur of clapping dissipated
It was just as they had all feared

The fact was she wasn’t finished at all
She paused for effect and was catching her breath
Obama muttered “I can’t believe I invited her here,
This’ll lead to my political death”

The standing ovations were under false pretence
They stood & clapped because they thought she was done
And each standing ovation was louder & longer
Because she was closer to the end than when she begun

They despondently resumed to their seats
“Can you please pass the ‘eau de vie’,
This woman’s voice is so goddam annoying
It’s bringing a tear to my eye”

Then at last it was over, she’d finished
And this final ovation was louder and stronger
Tears streamed down the cheeks of John Boehner as he said
“What a relief she won’t be PM for much longer”

So any tears were borne of frustration
And disbelief at Obama’s mistake
“I thought Kevin was boring and full of bullcrap
But that ‘ranga’ sure takes the cake”

Wednesday, March 9, 2011


The latest Newspoll shows Gillard’s on the nose
There’s really no great surprise there I suppose
But what really shocked and surprised us all
Was the extraordinary depth of Gillard’s fall

It wasn’t just that her approval dropped 11 points
But the real issue for Labor that shocks & disappoints
Is that the man she replaced with a plot evil & sinister
Is actually a preferred choice as Prime Minister

How bad is she going when Rudd is preferred?
It’s astounding to think people prefer that inept nerd
A man so feckless his own party gave him the chop
But now the rusted on lefties would gladly do a swap

They’d take Rudd back despite many a shortcoming
They forgive all of his faults, it’s really mind-numbing
That they’d welcome that fool, that incompetent trier
In preference to Gillard, the bare-faced liar

Just how low could our government possibly fall?
When they can’t agree who is the least worst of all
A man so inept he failed at everything he tried
Or a woman who nearly squeezed out a tear when she ‘cried’

So while the light on the hill slowly burns out
Don’t be fooled by the polls, let there be no doubt
That Rudd’s ‘popularity’ is just distorted folklore
Don’t forget what happened last year on June 24

His own party were fed up with Rudd’s constant failure
He’d quickly become an embarrassment to all of Australia
And in last year’s election the voters showed what they meant
When in Queensland there was a swing against Labor of 9.3% (refer chart below)

In Rudd’s own seat he suffered a major backlash
A big swing against him saw his perceived popularity crash
And though he lied through his teeth at his victory speech*
All credibility was gone, it was too late to beseech

This farce continues to play out on TV and in papers
The Labor Party is like an episode of comedy capers
And we’re forced to put up with constant Labor upheavels
It’s just a question of who is lesser of two evils?

The fact is that they’re both responsible for much volatility
And both have clearly been promoted beyond their capability
Rudd / Gillard? Gillard / Rudd? It’s like asking old timers
“What would you prefer: Incontinence or Alzheimer’s”?!

Click on image for clearer view


Tuesday, March 8, 2011


Gillard doesn't get it, Australians don’t want a new tax
If Labor goes through with this impost they’re bound to get the axe

Families are already struggling with the rising cost of living
And Labor’s plans for a new tax are a source of much misgiving

Labor can’t sell this turkey no matter how hard they try
It’s reckless and unnecessary and it’s based upon a lie

It’ll put upward pressure on prices of petrol and electricity
Indeed Labor’s doomed carbon tax is generating much toxicity

This entire episode is based upon untruths and dodgy science
But Labor’s hit a brick wall thanks to the people's sanity and defiance

The people have clearly rejected this farcical grab for cash
And their 30% approval shows people reject this Labor trash

Labor’s destroyed the budget and Gillard has blatantly lied
And as she schmoozes up to Obama, she can run but she can’t hide

If Labor had shown a tendancy towards fiscal rectitude and trust
Maybe voters wouldn’t be so angry and displaying their disgust

But with so many billions wasted on thought bubbles and wasted schemes
Labor says they can win the argument?! Yeah right! In their delusional dreams

Nobody likes a liar, and Gillard reeks of desperation
In her attempts to appease the Greens and balance the books of the nation

So once again the Labor Party has lied and cheated to the folks
And been exposed as the party that perpetuates this hoax

We must maintain the passion and expose the lies and misinformation
And if we maintain logic and reason we’ll be rid of this Labor abomination

Labor simply cannot continue to treat us all with such disdain
And continue to impose upon us so much angst, anger and pain

Gillard is oblivious to her dishonesty and her lies
Maybe her plummeting approval will make her realise

She’s causing pain, she’s incompetent, she lacks gravitas & class
And with any luck, before too long, she’ll be out on her fat arse!

Monday, March 7, 2011


Less than 1 in 3 Australians approve of this useless mob*
I’m surprised their approval’s still that high after their woeful job
Of trying to manage our economy for the past 1200 days
Now we’re all lumbered with massive debt and an incurable malaise

A Prime Minister so deceitful she plotted & knifed her boss
Although to be perfectly truthful, that moron really was no loss
But it goes to the lack of character and heartlessness of the witch
And typifies the Labor Party, a habit of behaviour crude & kitsch

Since November 2007, just 40 months ago,
Who would have believed that things could so quickly sink so low?
Despite a mining boom offering riches and keeping our economy afloat
The budget’s blown, $182 billion debt** - and that’s not all she wrote!

Our borders are unprotected as asylum seekers arrive unchecked
Just more poor Labor policy, so thoughtless and inept
We never see strong Labor policy, nothing bold or avante-garde
They just let them come then build detention centres in our own backyard

Cost of living pressures are rising, family budgets under pressure
But all we get is our lame-brained Treasurer grinning like a Cheshire
Making excuses, talking drivel, blaming everything on Abbott
Swan’s ability to act like a goose is an insufferable habit

We know the many failures bought to us by Gillard & her hacks
Fuel & Grocery Watch, BER, Pink Batts and the bungled mining tax
They’ve destroyed the balanced budget and sent us billions into debt
And their newest brainwave, the ‘Carbon Tax’ is their greatest blunder yet

So it’s really little wonder that Labor’s support has crashed and burned
But a 30% approval rating is still too high as far as I’m concerned
Only rusted on Labor lovies could possibly support this inept rabble
And make any sense of all the lies, the mistakes and psychobabble

Being dictated to by the Greens, a party of just 15% support
Our Federal Parliament now resembles a shambolic Kangaroo Court
With Greens and Independents joining up with Gillard’s useless team
One day soon I hope to wake and see it’s all just been a bad dream

Alas, this is not a dream, more like a nightmare of grand proportions
As we’re forced to put up with all the lies, the backflips and distortions
Consumer confidence is shattered, families unable to pay the bills
And now we’ve been lumbered with another tax, they’re treating us like dills

But we will not be silenced by loonie lefties and their warped social agenda
It’s time to bring on the next election: it’s time to take this to a referenda
And the result will reverberate strongly through workplaces, houses and schools
There’s just one thing left to say to Gillard & Labor: It’s ‘Adios’, you useless fools!

* 8th March 2011:
Shows Labor primary vote at 30%, down 6% in the past 2 weeks since the 'Carbon Tax' was announced.
The Coalition primary vote is at 45%, up 4%.
On a 2PP rating, the Coalition leads Labor 54%-46%.

** 7th March 2011:
Total Commonwealth Government Securities on Issue $182.8 billion

Saturday, March 5, 2011


I’m desperately trying to make sense
Of Barrie Cassidy’s warped view of Australia
His ‘Insiders’ Labor love fest is so sickening
The program’s more like a bacchanalia

A drunken revelry of leftist love
This useless government can do no wrong
They all hold hands and sing Julia’s praises
“Kumbaya” is their favourite song

The only tough questions ever asked
Are of hapless coalition members
The panel thinks all the mismanagement and waste
Is something nobody remembers

Piers & Bolt are sole voices of reason
Amongst the Labor love-in jury
Their logical and balanced point of view
Serves to only induce rage & fury

Gerard & Glenn also speak logically
Not afraid to question Labor’s faults
And while Brian sits firmly on the fence
The rest of the panel needs smelling salts

Lenore and Denis just cannot understand
Why Labor has just 30% primary vote
And Marr and Farr will say just about anything
To keep the Labor dream afloat

Crabb and Coorey will bag the Liberals
Given the slightest opportunity
And Mischa and Megalogenis are adamant
That Labor deserves sympathy and impunity

Laura and Fran seem most perplexed
As to why Kevin Rudd was fired
Sorry folks to have to tell you
The light on the hill has been expired

It’s astounding Cassidy never questions
Why the nation is in such disarray
And continues to only question
What the coalition has to say

So whilst our nation continues to fracture
Under this most incompetent Labor governance
Cassidy’s presents an ‘Insiders’ point of view
Without the slightest critical utterance

He gives this useless Government a free pass
With the majority support of his hand-picked panel
Sorry ABC, but to get my laughs on a Sunday morning
I’m switching to the Disney Channel

Thursday, March 3, 2011


By Julia Gillard

What the hell has happened to the new paradigm?
It’s now Labor & the Greens, new partners in crime
It’s been one of politics most bizarre spectacles
And Bob Brown’s got a firm grip on my testicles!

I can’t make a move without Bob’s confirmation
Any sudden moves could lead to my immediate castration
He’s all about spending, no more budget cuts
And he’s intensifying his vice-like grip on my nuts!

I feel powerless even though I’m the Prime Minister
And Bob and his Green cult appear evil and sinister
As Bob’s clan gather around & worship him like a totem
His knuckles turn white due to his grip on my scrotum!

He’s played me into a position of impuissance
And whenever he speaks I’m forced to sit down and listen
I have to shmooze up to him & pretend that we’re besties
But the closer I get intensifies his grip on my testes!

I’d embraced Bob’s latest demand before I could say ‘pardon’?
Now I’m committed to putting a price on carbon
Any retreat now would make me look extremely foolish
Yet another example of Bob’s grasp of my goolies!

My colleagues realise that I’m a slave to the Greens
And our re-election hopes are blown to smithereens
But I’m unable to respond, I cannot take their calls
And it’s all because Bob Brown’s got me by the balls!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The people are angry Ms Gillard

Get into the real world, Ms Gillard
And stop putting pressures on the cost of living
Watching you systematically destroy our economy
Is a source of great misgiving

Already cost-of-living pressures are escalating
Under this irrational Labor dominion
Get your head out of the ground ignoramus
And sense the mood and the public opinion

Trying to justify this great big new tax
As the “responsible thing to do”
Is dishonest and cynical and misleading
And respresents a deluded point of view

Just because you cannot balance your books
And you’ve completely destoyed the budget
Doesn’t give you a mandate to tax us more
You’re no more than Bob Brown’s duteous puppet

So as you look down your nose at detractors
Know this: the people are angry, you’ll see
And your dishonest and irrational tax
Won’t decrease temperatures by a single degree

So you can try to deflect the attention
Away from your own incoherent behaviour
By branding the Liberals as “racist” and “appalling”
But the jaundiced media won’t be your saviour

Because you’ve lied to the people who matter
The electorate who’ll decide your fate
They’re the ones who will send you packing
Because they’re shocked, confused and irate

And as you career down the path of stupidity
With this irrational plan for CO2 reduction
All you’ll witness with a dishonest new tax
Is your very own career destruction

Yet another new tax from Labor
That’s 13 new taxes in just 1200 days
Such wasteful and amateurish governance
Leading to much anxiety, ire and malaise

The people are angry Ms Gillard
Because you’ve already wasted so much
And your status as a liar and spin merchant
Remains firmly intact, untouched

All I need is the air that you breathe

What has happened to our great country
In the past 1200 days?
Since Labor swept into power
And went about their destructive ways

With an economy the envy of the world
And a budget in tip-top shape
It wasn’t long before the Labor vultures
Began to pillage and rape

Using the guise of the GFC
To justify their reckless spending
Rudd & Gillard stirred up a frenzy
“We’ll save you, as the world is ending”

Sending out $900 cheques in the mail
And putting pink batts in people’s ceilings
School halls costing millions of dollars
Irresponsible and irrational dealings

Before you knew it the surplus was spent
And we’d spiralled into billions of debt
Then it was time for Labor to start taxing again
“Spend & tax”: it’s a sure-fire Labor bet

Rudd’s head rolled ,as Gillard took over
The house of cards was falling apart
Rudd was ‘all talk no action’
And made spin & lies a work of art

But a change of leader did not disguise
The incompetence and the waste
Gillard, a proven incompetent hack,
And a champion of bad taste

With Bob Brown by her side
His hand firmly adjusting her strings
These idiots would only be happy if humans are extinct
Oh the insanity this government brings

How do they recover billions of wasted dollars
Before the electorate starts to seethe?
They look for new options to tax people:
"Let’s tax the air that you breathe"