Friday, March 18, 2011


Laurie Oakes (left) and Jubba the Hutt

What planet are you from Lauries Oakes?
Each week you dish up articles full of lame jokes
Too many years in Canberra has robbed you of your soul
Now you report like you’re on the ALP payroll

“Jabba the Hutt” according to the “Latham Diaries”
You constantly fail to make the probing enquiries
Of Labor politicians who obfuscate and lie
Your bias is for all to see, no matter how hard you try

And any time you do criticise the ALP
You’ll whack the Libs as well so as not to be
Accused of selling out your obvious love of the left
But your articles & interviews always leave me bereft

Because you never present a balanced argument
And to the Labor Party your bias is heaven sent
Ignoring all the anger and public sentiment
Is a bloody disgrace, much to your detriment

As Labor and Gillard languish horribly in the polls
Our country horrified at who’s at the controls
The best you can write is about your old mate Rudd
For just how long can you support the proven dud?!

As you wrote this article, what the hell were you thinking?
Tell me honestly Laurie, had you been drinking?!
I know of nobody who can stand it when Rudd speaks
But you remain loyal to him because he gave you the leaks

So if anything I suppose I’d call you truehearted
In your support for Rudd even though he’s departed
The top office, and the top job is his no longer
No matter how wrong Labor is you’ll say the Libs are wronger!

And how on earth can you state that Gillard’s “found her feet”
When she’s on track to take Labor to a demoralising defeat
A leader with no instincts, no gravitas, no clue
But her plummeting approval rating seems alien to you

Has there ever been a more unstable government Laurie?
What would it take for you to look back and say ‘sorry’
That you misjudged Labor and how utterly useless they are
Or would that possibility be a bridge too far?

Rudd once cleaned your house, and your friendship was born
But did he happen upon your hidden stash of porn?
What other reason is there for your continued rave reviews?
Or has he got compromising photos he’s threatening to use?!

Article in question here:

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