LABOR WASTE PTY LTD

Government spending is out of control
Gillard’s proving to be another poor choice
Labor is struggling in every poll
Seems Australians have found their true voice

We’re sick of the spin and tired of the lies
All the errors, cost blowouts and waste
Due to Labor incompetence people now realise
We must be rid of the bastards, post haste

They inherited an economy thriving and strong
Zero debt and almost full employment
But in 3 years they’ve done just about everything wrong
And Australians have had zero enjoyment

We’ve watched utility costs increase by 40%
Thanks to inane cow-towing to the Greens
And with every dollar of surplus wastefully spent
Our once-great economy’s blown to smithereens

Insulation in roofs burning homes to the ground
No cost analysis for the mindless NBN
So as you suffer along with tolerance profound
Please never vote Labor again.

A very naughty boy!

Obama wins the US election,
No great surprise I guess,
The media’s bias has done the job,
Barack’s the new President-elect.

Barack speaks well, but says nothing,
Just vacuous words and promises,
Behind the charade is there anything?
There’s till many doubting Thomas’s.

He’s a first term senator with a shady past,
Some connections cruel and sinister,
But the media give him an easy ride,
Just like Australia’s Prime Minister.

Obama promises a new dawn,
But his supporters appear deranged,
That doesn’t signify leadership,
Every homeless beggar wants change.

So good to luck to Obama,
He has a huge burden on his hands,
When you promise to change the world,
You need more than words, you need plans.

Time will tell if Obama’s ‘the One’,
If he’ll bring America hope and joy,
But there’s every chance he’s not the Messiah,
He’s just a very naughty boy.

http://au.youtube.com/watch?v=af9EHtQMMc4

1073 DAYS

We’ve had a Rudd/Gillard government for 1073 days.
How have they failed us? Let us count the ways…
The list of outright failures amounts to plenty,
And it all started with the farcical ‘Summit 2020’.

A lot of hot air and the first of many flops
Just like the claim all schoolkids would get laptops.
The ‘Education Revolution’ proved nothing of the sort,
Just more empty words, another bubble of thought.

To appease the greenies, and try to get more support,
Rudd threatens to take Japan to the International Court.
But like all of his ideas, it just gets more absurd,
It all amounts to zero, just more hollow words.

Health was next on Rudd’s pursuit of a headline,
And mid-2009 was his nominated deadline,
“I’ll take over the hospitals if this is how it stays”
Raid the state coffers, create more malaise.

2 more populist ideas Rudd managed to botch:
The crap GroceryChoice and the dumb FuelWatch.
The promise of GP Super Clinics all over the place,
More broken promises, more egg on Rudd’s face.

“One-stop Childcare”; yet another thought bubble,
Sounded good at the time, just more ALP trouble.
Easing the laws on our Border Protection
Will appeal to the left: more ‘ideological perfection’.

Only one small problem with that lame idea:
People smuggler’s realised it’s easier to get in here.
Boatloads arrive, another ideological defeat.
Detention centres full; they’ll build one in your street.

Climate Change, the “great threat of our generation”,
Too hard to address for the Copenhagen congregation.
The ETS threat exposes Rudd’s lack of conviction,
And the ‘great big new tax’ leads to his crucifixion.

Gillard’s BER plan flushes billions down the drain,
People rorting the system, riding the Labor gravy train.
Just like the home insulation, an unmitigated disaster,
And the huge debt was growing, faster and faster.

So to add to the cost blow out, we get the NBN
Another Rudd thought-bubble, here we go again!
Hi-speed broadband for every civilian,
At the miserly cost of just $43 billion!

No cost-benefit analysis: Conroy’s ironically funny
When he says that idea is a ‘waste of taxpayer’s money’.
Apparently $43 billion is not such a waste,
As technology evolves at a frightening pace.

So in another 10 years when the NBN is complete,
The odds are such technology will be obsolete.
It’ll be the most expensive white elephant Australia has seen,
And the cost blowouts & waste will be most obscene.

Soon $100 billion+ was our accumulated debt,
And the moron Wayne Swan was not finished yet,
As government debt became a budget cataclysm,
Our useless Treasurer should’ve been sent to prison!

So the moron presented the great “mining tax”,
And distorted the rationale, misrepresented the facts,
It’s nothing more than a cash-grab to balance the books,
Another useless idea by a useless bunch of crooks.

As you assess this long list, you see Labor is rotten,
I’m sure there’s many other stuff ups that I’ve forgotten,
So when next you go to vote, act with strong volition,
Remember this list, and choose the Coalition.

THE IRONING LADY?

Come on Ms Gillard, give us something to believe
You’re the ‘shrewd politician’ you’re rumoured to be
Because your indecision and uninspiring leadership so far
Proves you’re not shrewd at anything by any degree

Rising to the top thanks to knives in the back
You’ve got the top job you coveted for so long
But Australia’s sick of your spin, your bullshit and lies,
They thought you were different, but they were wrong

Thought bubbles, wastage and a lack of consultation
Sees the spin-doctors sent in to clean your mess
Uninspiring dithering and distortions of the truth
Where you’re taking us in anybody’s guess

After 11 years of strong leadership and prosperity for all
And an economy the envy of other nations
We’ve been lumbered with a government under you & Kevin Rudd
That’s been full of errors, untruths and miscalculations

Now we’re back in debt and being ruled by looney greens
And any goodwill built up has quickly evaporated
And your pathetic 'East Timor Solution' has clearly displayed
You’re out of your depth and you’re extremely overrated

So whilst once you were touted as our very own ‘Iron Lady’
Who’d provide strong leadership so lacking under Rudd
You’ve been weak and insipid, more intent on playing games
Like Crean, Latham and Rudd before you, you’re a dud

After 3 years in power, your government’s already looking stale
Leaving a trail of destruction in your wake
We’re crying out for leadership to provide us with direction
But like most Labor politicians, you’re a fake

You’re no ‘Iron Lady', more like a pale imitation
You’re such a disappointment you really should retire
Take up domestic chores, such as ironing Tim’s shirts
And let the Liberal Party give us the leadership we so require

WHATEVER IT TAKES

A voice of reason speaks to Julia Gillard

Julia Julia where have you been?
I’ve been a slave to the Labor machine.
What exactly by that do you mean?
I’m hopelessly trapped in a ‘do nothing’ routine.

Why have you allowed yourself to lose control?
It works for Brumby who’s ahead in the poll.
But as PM you must take a leadership role.
I’m sorry Australia, I’ve sold my soul.

What has happened to land us in this trouble?
My decisions are based on my latest thought bubble.
So all the problems we have will soon be double?
Frankly this government is a disorganised muddle.

So what will you do? This ain’t looking pretty.
I’ll announce an enquiry, appoint a committee.
People aren’t stupid, this will make them shitty.
I’ll flutter my eyelids, surely they will have pity?

No: get out of the way, you are an obstruction.
But this position of power is such a seduction.
But all that you leave is a trail of destruction.
That’s a harsh but fair and honest deduction.

So you admit you are hopelessly unable to lead?
I have no idea what it takes to succeed.
You must do something, I beg you, I plead.
I’ll do ‘whatever it takes’: that’s the ALP creed.

A PISS UP IN A BREWERY

4 months she’s been in power
Our first female PM
Arrived with such a fanfare
But it’s been all downhill since then

Uninspiring and dishonest
Is the most apt way to describe
Her conniving way, her dirty tricks
To which we’ve been prescribed

For all of Kevin Rudd’s weaknesses
And there are far too many to list
If Gillard keeps up this uselessness
Rudd will soon be sorely missed

She’s bungled border protection
As every day a new boat appears
And her pathetic call to East Timor
Has fallen on deaf ears

And ‘Climate Change’, that crock of shit
Which greenies cling to with abandon
Saw Gillard’s stupid ‘citizens assembly’
Unceremoniously disbanded

Her BER program sent us into debt
Shonky workmanship & teacher’s fury
She’s again proven she couldn’t organise
A piss up in a brewery

She’s done nothing as our leader
Just glib comments, vacant words,
She took over a useless government
And has proved you cannot polish turds!

NBN: Nothing But Nonsense

43 billion dollars, quite probably more,
Isn’t that what Telco’s are for?
No cost benefit analysis? A bloody crime;
So we can download movies in half the time.

As this Government bungles one thing after the next,
And leaves ratepayers poor, confused and perplexed,
Waste & mismanagement as debt continues to climb,
But we can download movies in half the time.

People are homeless, unemployment still rife,
Many hard working Australians struggling in life,
But Labor continues to spend with no reason or rhyme,
And they can download movies in half the time.

New wireless technology is rapidly expanding,
Fast download speeds, results are outstanding.
But Conroy dismisses such notions as a “waste of time”,
And he can download movies in half the time.

Our dry continent needs water for agriculture to thrive,
It’s the government’s duty to help farmers survive.
Instead they waste billions on underground cables and lines,
So we can download movies in half the time.

For under 2 billion dollars more dams could be built,
This useless government should be riddled with guilt,
But there’s no votes in water, it’s not ‘sexy’ or fine,
And we can download movies in half the time.

Farmers are bankrupted, no water for crops,
Banks calling in loans, this madness must stop.
No building of dams is an absolute crime,
But we can download movies in half the time.

Conroy’s in denial and makes no apology
Of the risk of investing in obsolete technology.
He thinks his NBN plan is quite simply sublime,
And he can download movies in half the time.

Gillard Amounts to Nothing

Exactly what has she done to have risen so high?
I struggle to fathom, no matter how hard I try.
Her record is littered with failures and waste,
Seems her lofty status is badly misplaced.

As a leading hand in the Socialist Forum,
An industrial lawyer, sadly lacking decorum.
A hard-headed leftie with communist persuasions,
A lack of judgement exposed on many occasions.

She backed Simon Crean, she championed Beasley,
She switched allegiances to Latham ever-so easily.
She’d swing in the breeze, and keep her head low,
Yet somehow her reputation would continue to grow.

And when it comes to taking decisive actions,
She’s more interested in pathetic distractions.
A ridiculous hairstyle and a pathetic girly laugh,
Avoid the hard questions: “Ask my chief of staff”.

But one can only fly under the radar for so long,
Before people start to realise that something is wrong.
‘We’ve got a highly rated MP with a record of failure’,
Pulling the wool over the eyes of all of Australia.

In the opposition corner, one’s power is restricted,
The chance to make a ‘real’ difference is somewhat constricted.
Opposition for the sake of it, a cheap-shot headline,
But when you’re in power, there is a deadline.

Three years to fulfil the promises made,
To be true to your word, no more masquerade.
No more hiding behind the façade of one’s gender,
Time to remove any doubt that you’re a pretender.

3 years as deputy leader of an incompetent rabble,
A part of the ‘Gang of Four’ and their psychobabble,
What a huge price we all pay for that inept quartet,
Mistake after mistake, taking us deep into debt.

Clearly Gillard has failed to rise to any occasion,
A fact that can’t be denied, no matter what your persuasion.
And on her long list of failures, her worst by far,
Has no doubt been the disgustingly wasteful BER.

She’s proven again she’s unable to superintend,
And her long list of failures is hard to comprehend.
For someone deemed so ‘smart’ she’s sadly inept,
But clearly her incompetence has been a secret well kept.

It soon became apparent that Rudd was deeply flawed,
And polls showed the Labor government was a fraud.
Despite riding on Rudd’s coattails, a classic juxtaposition,
Gillard sharpened her knives, ready to assume top position.

The ‘Night of the long Knives’ soon clicked into gear,
Gillard rallied the troops, the faceless men did appear.
Shorten, Farrell and Arbib quickly went on the offence,
And she had the top job, despite zero accomplishments.

Then it’s off to the polls, she must earn her high status,
To be ‘elected’, not ‘selected’ is Gillard’s last hiatus.
No late night number crunching is sufficient this time,
A chance to ingratiate oneself, from ridiculous to sublime.

But even 1st term incumbency proved insufficient,
As Labor’s failures & waste were clearly deficient.
The Libs gained more primary votes and won more seats,
Labor stared down the barrel of one of their worst-ever defeats.

But thanks to 3 independents with shonky motivations,
We’re subject to 3 more years of hell & damnation.
Gillard scraped over the line with a ‘victory’ of sorts,
3 more years of incompetence, debt, lies and rorts.

As the sum of her 12 years in Canberra attests,
She’s not as impressive as her reputation suggests,
Flying under the radar as the rest of us are suffering,
It’s blatantly clear Julia Gillard amounts to nothing.

THE FIGHTER RETURNS

Tony Abbott has been laying low
Since Oakeshott delivered his deathly blow
A rock and a hard place, he’s been stuck between
We’ve been wondering where the fighter’s been

But the pugilist is back, all guns blazing
The beast has awoken, it’s quite amazing
That he’s managed to remain so controlled & stoic
In light of the cruelty of a campaign so heroic

He fought the unwinnable election and almost prevailed
And who’d have predicted the mayhem that entailed
As the Labor crony machine moved into top gear
And exposed the Independents as self-serving racketeers

But enough is enough, according to Tone
He’ll no longer tolerate big Red’s abuse of the throne
Her lies and distortions behind a mask of deceit
As Labor lackeys in the media gather at her feet

And no matter what you think of Gillard’s appointment
Her first 100 days in office are a huge disappointment
She lacks gravitas and style, and although you may scoff
It’s high time she took her ‘L’ plates off

She must get rid of the laugh and well-rehearsed grin
Leadership & direction is why she was put in
Not to denigrate Abbott and score cheap political points
Because as your lies are exposed, it just disappoints

So stop the muckraking and telling tales out of school
You’ll quickly realise that Abbott is nobody’s fool
Stop the lies and the ‘bastardry’, such behaviour is madness,
Or the fighter, Tony Abbott, will knock you to the canvas.