IT'S A MAD MAD MAD GREEN WORLD

Government debt is at $172 billion*
Concern amongst the electorate is spreading
But according to Bob Brown and the Greens
Most important is a gay’s right to a wedding

Interest rates are rising, inflation a threat
Financial uncertainty is widespread
But on the list of priorities drafted by the Greens
Number 1 is a gay’s right to wed

A government up to its neck in incompetence
And although it’s easy to be critical and disparage
Instead of governing with strong credible policies
Labor vacilates on the non-issue of gay marriage

Labor’s disastrous 'Home Insulation' scheme
Led to one of our great justice miscarriages
Lives and billions lost as they kowtowed to the Greens
Now the Greens new obsession is gay marriages

Cost of living pressures squeeze the family budget
Struggling families surviving on water and bread
But ask the Greens what really matters to voters
They say it’s a homosexuals right to be wed

As consumer confidence & retail sales are falling
We have a government & treasurer in denial
As they ignore the plight of the average Aussie
Just so gay people can walk down the aisle

In Labor’s desperation to appear ‘progressive’
As they allow minorities to start to get hold
They try to carry favour with the lunatic Greens
So gays can carry their husband over the threshold

Climate Change was once the Greens main obsession
Pursued with religious fervour & threats for our lives
But since the dodgy science has exposed that fraud
It's now about gay husbands & lesbian wives!

* Government debt, as at 21/11/10 is $172,701 Billion.
Source http://www.aofm.gov.au/

The Howes, whys and wherefores.

Who the hell is this Paul Howes?
And what emotions does he arouse?
Determined to lift his own profile
And appease the Labor rank and file

As the AWU secretary
He played the ALP’s emissary
And revealed Labor’s evil plan
A self-confessed faceless man

A Labor man in everyone’s eyes
Yet he helped secure Rudd’s demise
Went on Lateline to tell the world
He was sick of Rudd & backed the girl

As secretary of the AWU
His own agenda he does pursue
As the main issue that did matter
He delivered Rudd’s head on a platter

He has delusions of grandeur
And acts more like a raconteur
Touring the country for his book release
When will the narcissism cease?

The protégé of shifty Bill
His political goals he must fulfill
Like Bill, his career won’t be complete
Til he’s parachuted into a safe Labor seat

Why does Howes get so much attention?
His profile is beyond my comprehension
The AWU he does passionately endorse
Represents just 1.1% of the workforce*

What the hell is with Paul Howes?
And the Labor tripe he does espouse
Just another union upstart
And a genuine media tart!

* Australian workforce: 11 million.
AWU members: 130,000 = 1.1%.

"These are a few of Rudd's favourite things"

Frowns on the faces of Liberals and Nationals,
Hearing them scream that my plans are irrational,
Enjoying the perks that my position brings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Lying, deflecting, gross exaggerations,
Meeting world leaders in far-reaching locations,
Strutting around like I’m one the kings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Photo opportunities with famous faces,
Flying irrationally to exotic places,
Seeing Julia impatiently wait in the wings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Token positions for long time supporters,
Feeding bullsh1t to complicit reporters,
Making Australian culture more like Beijing’s,
These are a few of my favourite things.

When Swan is wrong,
When I see Wong,
When I’m feeling sad,
I simply remember my favourite things,
And then I don’t feel so bad.

Winking at myself as I shave in the mornings,
Thankful the media’s ignored all the warnings,
Every day I’m in power, the joy that it brings,
These are a few of my favourite things.

Recklessly spending and wasting the surplus,
Being the ringleader of the ALP circus,
A union puppet controlled by their strings,
I’d really rather not talk about those things.

Seeing Australians getting zero enjoyment,
As incompetent policies lead to mass unemployment,
Wastage, ineptitude, the panic bell rings,
Please can we refrain from mentioning these things?

I’m a try-hard,
Soon a discard,
The people have been had,
They’ll realize the error they made in 07,
It’s the reason we all feel so bad.

Julia said.....

Mark Latham is a great leader
A visionary man of character
He broke a taxi drivers arm?
He’d better get a good barrister!

Free medical help for old people
We’ll call it ‘Medicare Gold’
We didn’t cost it properly?
Oh my, a $5 billion hole!

How about an education revolution?
And a laptop for every kid
Well, maybe one in four gets one
This has cost us a fair quid!

I’ve got a bottomless pit of money
So I’ll build ‘memorial’ school halls
The States & builders ripped of billions?
Sheesh, those bastards have got balls!

I weakened border security
People smugglers could start anew
I’ll build a detention centre in East Timor
And completely ignore Nauru!

Climate Change is a great challenge
It’s claimed a few political scalps
I’ll announce a Citizens Assembly
And hope like hell that helps!

The Citizen Assembly’s a friggin’ joke
But I need to cuddle up to the Greens
I’ll announce a ‘Cash for Clunkers’ scheme
Whatever the hell that means!

Things seemed easier as deputy
A smooth PM’ship seemed a shoo-in
But my trail of defunct policy thoughts
Proves I’ve no idea what I am doing!

And the boats keep coming...

In keeping with her record of failure
Gillard’s made another fine mess
When the errors and waste will cease
Is anybody’s guess

This time it’s border security
At the heart of her latest mistake
And any semblance of control of our borders
Is contrived and wrong and fake

The boats come almost daily
Record numbers of illegal arrivals
Labor’s caused a massive ‘pull’ factor
As people risk their children’s survival

In November 08 things were under control
As Labor retained Howard’s border protections
Then they softened laws to appease bleeding hearts
And invited a new wave of defections

170+ people have drowned
Thanks to Gillard’s softening of the rules
But the Government blames ‘push’ factors
They’re treating us all like fools

They softened the rules of our country
Invited smugglers to resume their trade
And despite thousands of illegal arrivals
They won’t admit to the errors they’ve made

Detainees have more than doubled
And the cost to taxpayers is out of control
Labor tries to pretend they’re more humane
But the drownings are an own goal

Gillard lied to us, as is normal
And said she’d stop the boats from coming
Then her lame East Timor solution
Was both insulting and brain-numbing

Australians don’t like gatecrashers
Uninvited guests should join the queue
Go through the proper channels
So we can properly process you

Again Labor & Gillard are unsuccessful
Yet another policy failure
They’ve hung the ‘Welcome Everyone’ sign
On the front door of Australia

THE (WHITE) ELEPHANT IN THE ROOM

There is history in the making
This is the gift which keeps on taking
How to make a bust out of a boom
The giant elephant in the room

Please don’t talk, don’t say a word
Your insolence is most absurd
You’re sounding like a prophet of doom
When you speak of the elephant in the room

But the elephant is blowing out
Gouging itself on seeds of doubt
You say that I’m a prophet of doom?
The elephant took a dump in your living room

A welcome pet is the elephant
So brilliant, smart and elegant
You’ll start to see the benefits real soon
Of the obese elephant in the room

You say the elephant is a welcome pet
Feeding itself on massive debt
‘NBN CO’ is it’s nom de plume
The big white elephant in the room

You pass critique at your detriment
The people love the elephant
Yes it costs a lot to feed and groom
That largesse elephant in the room

Tell me the benefits the elephant offers?
As you raid and pillage public coffers
To feed the thing: I must assume
You’re clueless to the elephant in the room

It does cost a lot to keep this pet
I am now riddled with regret
A cost-benefit plan would’ve been opportune
I’m now stuck with this elephant in the room

The line of logic has been crossed
$43 billion is the minimum cost
To feed the beast, try to make it bloom
This wasteful elephant in the room

It’s useless, obsolete, slow and old
I’d prefer a new pet, one fast and bold
But it seems I’m stuck with it I fear:
Get this white elephant out of here!

Delusions of Grandeur

What hope have you got as a party
When everyone want to have a say?
Those with delusions of grandeur,
And those who’ve had their day.

‘Whatever it takes’ said Richo,
He was never mild nor meek.
And Paul Howes has an autobiography?
What a bloody cheek!

The Australian Labor Party
Is tearing itself apart limb by limb.
Everyone’s got an opinion,
And their future’s looking grim.

BACK TO EARTH

Back to earth with a thud
The voters want her blood
Just another Labor dud
Even worse than Kevin Rudd

People sick of her lies
Have opened up their eyes
Voters now realise
She’s not worthy of top prize

She saw the polls in strife
So she sharpened up her knife
Took Rudd’s political life
Now she’s the one in strife

Crashing back to earth
Due to her policy dearth
Now the target of much mirth
Julia, what’s it all worth?

The faceless men appear
They want her out of here
Gillard’s full of fear
She won’t last another year

"She don't like Newspoll"

(With thanks to the 'Boomtown Rats' and their 1979 hit "I Don't Like Monday's")

“The Australian” lands on her desk
She flicks to ‘Politics’
The latest ‘Newspoll’ is out today
She’s nervous, anxious, feeling sick
But Julia doesn’t understand it
Polls used to say she was good as gold
And she can see no reasons
When there’s so many reasons
Her popularity is so low-low-low-low-low

Tell me why
Jules doesn’t like Newspoll
Tell me why
She don’t like Newspoll
Tell me why
She hates the Newspoll
She wants to shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot Tony Abbott down

The Labor machine is cruel and mean
Julia feels the heat applied
The falling polls are a shock
Julia’s world is rocked
As voters thoughts turn to her litany of lies
There on page 16, the voters don’t look keen
But she ain’t so keen to admit defeat
But she can see no reasons
When there are so many reasons
How many reasons do you need?
Oh oh oh oh

Tell me why
Jules hates the Newspoll
Tell me why
She don’t like Newspoll
Tell me why
She hates the Newspoll
She wants to shoo-oo-oo-oo-oo-oot the Coalition down
Down-down-down,
Shoot them all down

All the arrogance has stopped on Labor benches now
There’s many frowns and not a smile
Public unrest is churning and Julia’s learning
And the lesson today is ‘no more lies’
The faceless men are circling
Her leadership ain’t working
They’re sharpening knives to thrust in her back
She starts to see the reasons
'Cos there’s so many reasons
Why Julia’s career is starting to die, die, oh, oh, oh.

Tell me why
Jules hates the Newspoll
Tell me why......

REALPOLITIK

Ms Gillard, what do you stand for?
What is it that makes you tick?
We’re sick of your wavering indifference.
We’re loathing your realpolitik.

Ms Gillard, what do you believe in?
What beliefs do we find at your core?
Or are you too afraid to be honest?
Lest faceless men knock on your door.

Ms Gillard, will you answer the question?
Your inane chatter grates to the bone.
Your attitude of platitudes is pointless,
You’ll be the next they dethrone.

Ms Gillard, will you provide some direction?
Will you lead with conviction and drive?
Or will it just be more of the same?
As you lie, deceive and connive.

Ms Gillard, can you hear the clock ticking?
Do you realise time for action is now?
Seems you’d like to be a real leader,
But have absolutely no idea how.

Ms Gillard, you’re an abject disappointment.
The Labor experiment has failed.
You’ve ruined all that you’ve touched,
And our great country has been derailed.

Ms Gillard, you must get some credit.
For bluffing your way to the top.
But the ‘Peter Principle’ applies to you,
And voters want to give you the chop.

Ms Gillard, will you do us a favour?
And prove you have strength & nerve,
Dissolve Parliament and call an election,
So we get the government we deserve.

WORKING FOR THE (WO)MAN

The man put pink batts in my ceiling
He said it helps environmental healing
I came home and found
My house burnt to the ground
A most bizarre and infuriating feeling

The man said he’d fix hospitals & health
Either overtly or, if needed, by stealth
Just more political shtick
Making all of us sick
By pillaging the states income wealth

The man said he’d cut the cost of living
Fuel & Grocery Watch is what he was giving
Millions wasted on such farce
Results poor, savings sparse
More mistakes and reasons for misgiving

The man promised an ETS scheme
He said it’d cost each person $1 per diem
Sucked in by ‘climate change’ hype
Inane ridiculous tripe
Insanity enough to make you scream

The man built lots of school halls
To 'help' as the economy falls
More inane hollow thoughts
Government wastage and rorts
Such cost blow outs and largesse appals

The man put cables into the ground
It cost us billions but then we found
The technology outdated
Cost of connecting inflated
Such waste does amaze and astound

The man said he’d get the economy on track
And return the budget to black
But he lied to us civilians
As the debt mounted to billions
And the voters went on the attack

The man is the most inept ever seen
The worst government there’s ever been
Incompetence & spendthrift ways
Allows for these dark days
Errors, waste & mismanagement obscene

The Traitor Paradigm

How unfortunate for our country
That we have to rely
On a Labor Party Government
Full of shysters prone to lie

False promises and failures
Litter their incumbency
The days of competent government
Headed for redundancy

2 self-centred independents
Only interested in their own agenda
Take the spoils for personal gain
Then retire to their hacienda

These 2 clowns of dodgy character
With shady pasts & dodgy deals
Sucked in by Labor hollow promises
Fallen in head over heels

“You’ll get what you want Mr Windsor
Rob, you’ll be speaker of the House
But now the dirty deals are done
You’ll be as quiet as a mouse”

The carry on over Liberal costings
The headline-grabbing ballyhoo
But then rejecting a BER analysis
Your true colours shining through

No wonder Australians are disillusioned
With this useless mob in power
With you 2 hypocritical fools
Sitting in your ivory tower

Mr Oakeshott, you’re a moron
A grinning verbose Labor hack
Mr Windsor, you sold your soul
And you will never get it back

You blokes waffled on about fairness
You spoke of a new paradigm
You’ll be remembered as nothing more than traitors
In the fullness of time.

Into The Abyss

Has there been a worse government
In the history of Australia?
A more accident-prone collection,
So prone to repeated failure?

A government so inept at policy
All it touches turns to shit,
You want the meaning of incompetence?
Folks, this is it.

A list too long to mention
Of cost blow outs and lame inaction
Spending billions on inane schemes
When they could’ve spent a fraction

As the debt races to $200B
The budget deficit overblown
Is this the most pathetic group of no-hopers
You’ve had the misfortune to have known?

Not one policy has been enacted
Which you could proudly say has aided
People struggling to pay their bills
Our quality of life has been degraded

Australians used to take for granted
The fine leadership of Howard & Co
But those halcyon days are long gone
Great times our children will never know

These days they cower to minorities
Sucked in by greenie feel-good crap
These morons wouldn’t know good policy
If it fell into their lap

We’ve got a PM well out of her depth
And a treasurer with no idea
A foreign minister nobody likes
With an agenda most unclear

They speak of reform and moving forward
Surely they’re taking the piss?
If we keep moving forward at this rate
We’ll fall into the abyss.

AS SWANNY SPENDS BILLIONS MORE AGAIN

(Sung to the tune of "When Johnny Comes Marching Home Again")

As Swanny spends billions more again
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He cannot save he can only spend
Hurrah! Hurrah!
The bludgers will cheer at the useless crook
The hopeless fool can’t balance the books
And we’re all the poorer
As Swanny spends billions more

As Swanny sends us further in the red
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Seems fiscal rectitude is dead
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He can’t be trusted to stop the spend
Who knows where the debt blow out will end
And we’re all the poorer
As Swanny spends billions more

He’s promised to return a surplus soon
Hurrah! Hurrah!
Better chance of flying to the moon
Hurrah! Hurrah!
He’s never short of a lame excuse
He’s no Swan, he’s just a goose!
And we’re all the poorer
As Swanny wastes billions more

Fair Crack of the Whip, Wayne Swan

Oh where have you been, useless Wayne Swan?
Whilst the banks are robbing us blind.
Oh what are your plans, clueless Wayne Swan?
To help us out of this bind?

Do you have any idea what to do, Wayne Swan?
As your head wobbles with more lame excuses.
What do you say to the big fat greedy banker
As he does whatever he chooses?

Do you have any semblance of authority Wayne Swan?
Does anybody treat you with any respect?
What are your plans for our future, Wayne Swan?
As you keep wasting billions, unchecked.

How will you stop rising costs, Wayne Swan?
As people struggle to put food on the table.
Can you return the budget to surplus, Wayne Swan?
Could it be that you’re simply unable?

Do you have an economics degree Wayne Swan?
What are your plans to stop reckless spending?
On the way to $200B of government debt**
As we prepare for the gloom which is pending.

Are you the worst Treasurer ever, Wayne Swan?
Even worse than the pathetic Ralph Willis?
At the rate you are wasting our taxes, Wayne Swan,
You will slowly, but surely, kill us.

The budget surplus is gone, Mister Swan
It only took you three years to destroy it.
After 11 years of paying off Labor debt
We didn’t even have time to enjoy it.

What are your plans to repay debt, Wayne Swan?
As we sink further into the red.
Fair crack of the whip, Mister Swan!
Is there something wrong in your head?

** Refer http://www.aofm.gov.au/
As at 3/11/2010, Government Securities on Issue: $166.401 billion.