5 YEARS OF HELL: 2007 - 2011 (Part Two)

Part Two (of six), as told by Kevin Rudd

2008: MORE POPULAR THAN SEX

I’ll hold a 2020 summit for apparatchiks

$30 million cost and not one good idea
I’ll say sorry to the Aboriginals
A great start to the new political year

I’ll rekindle talk of a Republic
Another way to satisfy the Labor machine
I’ll jump on board the ‘Climate Change’ hysteria
‘The greatest moral challenge we’ve ever seen’

I’ve inherited a very strong economy
Swannie tells me everything is still humming
What’s this ‘Global Financial Crisis’ talk?
Whoah! I didn’t see that coming!

While it’s too soon to know the full repurcussions
It’s time to kill off the ‘conservative’ façade
Spend spend spend, go hard, go early
And charge it all to the nation’s credit card

So while Turnbull plots to bring down Nelson
I’ve gone on a massive spending spree
Thumping my chest that we avoided recession
‘Hey everybody, how clever are we’?!

Swannie delivers his very first budget
No surprises that it’s deeply screwed
He sticks to defending the $27 billion deficit
While I stick to being obnoxious and rude

And while my colleagues all hate my guts
And we’re suddenly deeply in debt
The latest Newspoll vindicates my survival
With my highest approval rating yet

It’s enough to bring down the good Doctor
Suddenly Turnbull’s in the opposite chair
I’ve more in common with Malcolm than my colleagues
Both a narcissistic and a multi-millionaire

I sail through 2008 unencumbered
By the hatred felt for me by Labor MP’s
Not even Nostradamus could’ve predicted
That within 12 months I’d be on my knees

I’ve single-handedly saved Australians from ruin
By sending them all $900 cheques
And I’m building school halls so there’s no drastic falls
I remain more popular than sex!

Meanwhile….

As Rudd sips his eggnog on Christmas Eve
There’s a growing unrest within the Labor Party
Sick & tired of being demeaned by Rudd
They’re determined to bring down this smarty

Despite being despised by his colleagues, the public love Rudd.
His poll numbers remain at record highs.
What will 2009 have in store for our bi-polar PM?

Stay tuned for Part Three:

‘2009: I WANT TO RULE THE WORLD'