LABOR PAINS

When Swan speaks I really need smelling salts
Head wobbling is his uncontrollable habit
Along with making lame excuses for his faults
And blaming everything that’s wrong on Tony Abbott

Wayne Swan, our Treasurer, a bungling fool
A man charged with running our economy
Didn’t even study economics at school
His starstruck gaze more aligned to astronomy

Took the reigns of a faultless set of books
Zero debt and billions in the bank
But him and his hopeless band of crooks
Have ruined everything, it’s them we must thank

We must thank them for the $100B debt
“But we avoided going into recession”
And a 4th consecutive budget deficit
We’re slaves now to Labor oppression

We thank them for an economy that’s stalling
Business leaders venting anger at this mob
And with consumer confidence consistently falling
Nobody feels safe any more in their job

Thanks to Labor housing prices have descended
And retail spending is disastrous in patches
We await the day when these Labor pains have ended
Until then Australians have battened down the hatches

What’s Swan & Gillard’s response to these alarming trends?
We’re all on edge, they must assure us to relax
With strong leadership on which our future depends
Their solution? The bloody useless Carbon Tax!

Energy costs have risen heaps the past few years
Driving the family budget through the roof
You worried Labor would be the sum of all your fears?
Do you really need any more proof?

They sent $900 cheques to those deceased or overseas
Spent millions installing insulation, then removing it
Millions more pissed up the wall on overpriced school canteens
Incompetent? They’ve spent the past 4 years proving it!

Don’t forget why we’re broke, the Labor Party is the cause
Grocery Choice and Fuel Watch, more millions up in smoke
Weakened our borders, with people drowning on our shores
Has a government ever been such a lame & tasteless joke?

Swan can blame the teetering economy on bananas
Sure Wayne, it’s got nothing to do with your reckless waste
And any credibility you’d hoped your action garners
Is deluded and very sadly misplaced

You’ve had 4 shots so far at balancing a budget
Alas, no luck, just $200B in the red
And no matter how hard you try to fudge it
Those numbers just refuse to add up in your head!

Australians are sick of the Labor Pains we’re enduring
This government is no more than a failure and a farce
There’s never been a desire so alluring
To kick them all out on their collective useless arse!