Saturday, July 3, 2010

What Julia says....and what Julia means


July 5th, 2010

On initial rumours of challenging Kevin Rudd for the Prime Ministership:
Julia says: “There’s more chance of me replacing full-forward Barry Hall”.
Julia means: “I’m lining the weasel up for one hell of a fall”.

On persistent rumours of challenging Kevin Rudd for the Prime Ministership:
“There’s more chance of me flying to the moon”.
“The assassins are in motion. I’ll be the P.M. soon”.

On the knife in Rudd’s back and the blood on her hands:
Julia says: “This was a good government which had lost its direction.”
Julia means: “We’ll do whatever it takes to win the election”.

On the backflip on the Mining Tax:
Julia says: “Through consultation I’ve rescued the tax at the 11th hour.”
Julia means: “I’ll do whatever it takes to remain in power”.

On border protection and boat people:
Julia says: “I will protect our borders, the flow of boats I will stem”.
Julia means: “I’ll say whatever is required to remain P.M.”

On the future of the “great big tax”, the ETS:
Julia says: “I will speak to the people and gain a consensus”.
Julia means: “I need to find a quick way to pay off our expenses”.

On being a puppet to the unions and factions:
Julia says: “I am in charge of the government, I control the how, who and why”.
Julia means: “When the faceless men say ‘jump’, I ask them ‘how high’".

On being in the ‘Gang of Four’ when all the disastrous policies were signed off:
Julia says: “It was Kevin’s fault, he is to blame, all dud policies were signed in his name”.
Julia means: “It was my fault, I am to blame, all dud policies were co-signed in my name”.

And finally: On her deputy, the incomparably incompetent Wayne Swan:
Julia says: “Wayne is a brilliant manager of Australia’s finance”.
Julia means: “Wayne can’t count to eleven without removing his pants”.

No comments:

Post a Comment