SPECIFIC SOLUTION

As “action man” Tony Abbott gains favourable media coverage for his sporting exploits, Rudd’s failed Border Protection policy keeps him awake at night in search of his own

“SPECIFIC SOLUTION”
28th March, 2010

Boats are coming, boats are sinking
What the hell was I thinking?
Men and women they are drowning
And the masses now are frowning

I know I said I’d “send boats back”
But the bleeding hearts gave me flak
A policy backflip most bizarre
At least I get kudos from David Marr

People are sick of all the failure
I’ve encumbered on Australia
This is another policy dud
Championed by captain Rudd

The opinion polls are sliding
It seems I might cop a hiding
I need a smokescreen, a distraction
I must henceforth swing into action

Maybe I just need to prove
Like Abbott, I’m a man on the move
I’ll show I refuse to accept this failure
I’ve got it; I’ll become a sailor!

I’ll set sail on the high seas
So opinion poll pressure will ease
To show compassion for their plight
On a creaky boat, day and night

This will prove my dedication
And douse my opponent’s frustration
But this decision is bound to fail
Because I don’t know how to sail

There’s bound to be some flotsam
So please move over Jessica Watson
I’m climbing aboard your boat
So my 2nd term hopes remain afloat

So this will prove I sympathize
As these people risk their lives
I’ll show the voters I’m not at fault
I may end up like Harold Holt….