Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Lies and Contradictions by Kevin Rudd

30th May, 2010

3 years ago I made a pledge,
In a vain attempt to drive a wedge,
To corner that man, my opponent Howard,
But again I’ve been exposed as a spineless coward.

I called it a “cancer on our democracy”
I’ve been proven a poster boy for hypocrisy,
I’ve done it again, another dud policy created,
I can’t pass a thing: I’m constipated!

“This reckless spending must stop” I screamed,
A long Rudd dynasty in power is what I dreamed,
But it’s all turned to sh1t in a very short time,
Now everything I do is both ridiculous and sublime!

I’ve blown the surplus and I’ve blown the budget,
So I said to Swanny “You’ve just got to fudge it”,
I’ve got us up to our necks in debt,
And our failures are something I’d rather forget.

Billions wasted (& lives lost) on insulation in rooves,
Such blatant waste yet again it proves,
Labor simply cannot be trusted with money,
If it weren’t so sad it’d almost be funny.

Throwing billions at a scheme rorted by crooks,
“Management fees” propping up their books,
Charging $5000 per square for a toilet block,
The latest ‘Newspoll’ results didn’t come as a shock.

The public’s woken up, they understand,
By rights I should be standing on the witness stand,
Answering questions such as “how did it come to this”?
A $20 billion surplus is now a deep abyss.

So I have to cover my arse yet once again,
In my desire to be the Secretary of the UN,
Nothing can stand in the way of my wild ambitions,
Sorry about the f%$k up with the carbon emissions....

So I’ll tax those rich miners, class warfare 101,
They can pay for my muck ups, all the harm I’ve done,
I’ll tax those bastards, it may well be controversial,
Taxpayers fund my propaganda TV commercials.

I’ve sent this country into unprecedented debt,
The headlines say I’m the worst PM yet,
Desperate times call for desperate measures,
And wasting taxpayer’s money is one of life’s pleasures.

So roll the commercials, spread the propaganda,
Waste taxpayers money, the government must slander,
Those miners who invest so much, those men I have betrayed,
So I can continue the farce, the great Rudd charade.

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