Kevin's in Japan

10th June, 2008

“A headline a day keeps the media at bay”, as Kevin seeks divine intervention,
He’s now formed 86 committees and 76 reviews, but with his hunger for a headline, that hardly rates a mention:

As his head hits the pillow in his Hiroshima Motel Room, Kevin Rudd quietly prays:

“Dear God, hi it’s Kevin, how’s it going up in heaven?
I’m praying to you from the Land of the Rising Sun,
There’s lots of Japanese here, and the thing I really fear,
Is that I have no ideas for tomorrow’s headline, not a one,

I need your help Lord because I feel the pressure building around my rectum,
I need that headline so my popularity doesn’t ‘cascade down the spectrum’
So please deliver me a sign, an indication that you’re listening,
So I can deliver the headline that keeps my popularity glistening,

I’m in the city of Hiroshima, chauffeured around in a nice new Beema,
And I’m struggling to find something to say to the Japanese press,
So please send divine intervention, so then I will not have to mention,
That without me you’d be nothing…but I digress…

‘Did the earth move for you Therese? I’m feeling weak at the knees’,
No wait, that was the sign, love, from the big guy up above,
He’s channeling the A-bomb, his message is coming through loud and clear,
That’s it! I’ll arrange a new committee, to tackle problems ‘nuclear’.

I tell you God, you’re all class, once again, you’ve saved my arse,
All I can say to you is ‘arigato’ and thanks Heavens!
And to really make a statement, I’ll roll out an old lefty who’s been latent,
They’ll love it when I tell ‘em the committee will be chaired by Gareth Evans.

I’ll dust the cobwebs off Evans, just like a cellared bottle of Merlot,
And, hey, what the heck, to keep him busy I’ll also appoint Cheryl Kernot,
“Are you awake my dear Therese?”, seems all I can hear is your snores,
(Reaches for bedside phone),
‘Hey Jeeves, I’m keen to please, meet me in 30 minutes at ‘Scores’.”

’I’ve got tomorrow’s headline, it came to me in a flash of brilliance,
They keep trying to shut me down, but I keep proving my resilience,
I’m on my way to world domination, I’ll show them all that I am no failure,
I’ll save the world, nation by nation, I just wish I had ideas to save Australia……”