Rudd is Rat Fu@&ed!

The Penrith bi-election result hits home to Kevin Rudd
20th June 2010

The ship is sinking, my demise, I’m thinking, is just a matter of time.
The polls are diving, when once were thriving, now ridiculous, once sublime.
The party’s over, and fields of clover now appear a meadow of weeds,
It appears quite clear, failures so severe, is the last thing this country needs.

So now every poll, when once on a roll, is something I detest,
It is plain to see, with no subtlety, the voters do suggest,
They want me gone, their trust withdrawn, a pauper once a King,
And at the very first chance, on my grave they dance, with a 25% swing.

Seems my broken vows, all my why’s and how’s, no excuse they will accept,
As we approach full term, I can confirm, not a single promise kept.
So much rhetoric, enough to make you sick, lots of words but no details,
I could make a case, lie to your face, and blame it all on New South Wales.

I confess I nearly, just blamed Kenneally, for the disastrous result,
But the truth be known, once again I’ve shown, I’m more child than adult.
I fooled you once, I took my chance, but could not sustain the great charade,
And true to ALP form, I could not perform, and the voters have been betrayed.

Reality bites, and try as I might, I can’t deny the blatant facts,
That I’ve stuffed it all, had a massive fall, and it’s not just the mining tax.
It was the ETS, who would’ve guessed, that’d start the downward spiral,
And now my leadership’s, after the backflips, considered deadly, sickly, viral.

There is no doubt, it’ll all come out, that I’m a very strange man indeed,
And my inner drive, what made me strive, was that my ego needs a feed.
Narcissistic megalomaniac, no friends, no factions, no idea,
Now I’ve stuffed it all, had a mighty fall, and I’m about to disappear.

The sharks surround, rumours abound, they’re baying for my blood.
Despite my best efforts, I must confess, it’s true I am a dud.
It didn’t take me long, to show I don’t belong, and to feed your frustrations,
I’ve ‘Rat F#@&ed’ you all, I’m weak I’m pall, I’ve killed Labor for generations.