The Good News Kid

20th April, 2009

If there’s good news to report I’ll be there in a flash,
I just love the big headline, it swells my head,
To see the punters so happy as I waste buckets of cash,
But if it’s bad news you’ll find me hiding under the bed.

I’m there, in the spotlight, to announce my latest thought bubble,
Like the $43B broadband internet plan, more spending galore,
But if there’s a story brewing that sounds like trouble,
You’ll find the ‘Do not Disturb’ sign hanging on my door.

But if I’ve got to face the music, it’s time for Labor spin,
Watch me duck and weave, treat the public with scorn,
I’ll avoid the issues at hand, much to reporters chagrin,
Distractions, red herrings, look, a unicorn.

Unemployment’s gone up again? I won’t comment on that.
I won’t allow such bad tidings to encumber,
Watch me pull a rabbit out of my hat,
As my popularity reaches a ridiculous new number.

I refuse to make a tough decision, it’ll damage my image,
Not interested in news on which I get no positive traction,
I’ll avoid negative press, stay out of that scrimmage,
It’s amazing how you’ll find me MISSING IN ACTION.