The Ballad of Tony Abbott
9th June 2010
I’ve recovered the stature of the coalition,
Put us back in the game in a stronger position,
Cut through Rudd’s bulldust, his lies and deceptions,
Changed the lay of the land, changed voter’s perceptions.
With Turnbull in charge we were just Rudd’s lap doggy,
The polls said we were headed to one hell of a flogging,
So I stepped up and opposed the crazy ETS,
And scraped into the leadership by just one ‘yes’.
But that was sufficient to assume the top job,
And go head-to-head with Kevin and Bob,
My first call of duty was to take on the ALP hacks,
And go hard and go early on Rudd’s “great big new tax”.
Since I’ve been leader, the polls have shown,
That support for the coalition has drastically grown,
I’ve won back lost ground, as Australians won’t let
Rudd Labor send us further into deficit and debt.
My task’s been greatly helped by Rudd himself,
As promise after promise he’s had to put on the shelf,
Because he’s run out of money and quickly realised,
That you can’t just keep on spending and telling lies.
But there’s still some doubt amongst some voters out there,
They’ve parked their vote, their cautious, they care,
For the future of our country, for the sake of Australia,
Yet they know we can’t have 3 more years of Rudd failure.
So I need to cut through and appeal to these strugglers,
Develop good policy , get out of the budgie smugglers,
And prove my credentials as a viable Prime Minister,
Further expose this Rudd government as evil and sinister.
Outline my plans to get our country back on track,
And although I sometimes cop ridicule and flack,
For my religious beliefs and honest answers,
I have to convince the doubters to take their chances.
To elect Tony Abbott, send him to the Lodge,
So more Labor stuff ups are avoided, more bullets dodged,
Show them I’m capable and worthy of the position.
Unlike Rudd who’s tenure is just his own U.N. audition.
I must step up to the plate, remove lingering doubt,
For everyone’s sake we must boot Labor out,
Give control of the Treasury back to the coalition,
And return our economy to it’s rightful position.
With Joe & Robby in control of the purse strings,
We’ll quickly restore the rightful order of things,
Pay off the debt, get the budget back in the black,
And ensure a strong future, there’s no turning back.
No more wasted billions, incompetence and rorts,
No more stupid ideas, ridiculous thoughts,
The Rudd Labor experiment is a disastrous failure,
And we must restore honour and honesty to Australia.