Tuesday, April 5, 2011


Somebody stop me I’m outta control
I’ve got the momentum, I am on a roll
I’ve been lying low now for far too long
I’ll show ‘em the Ruddster is back on song

People seem to have forgotten I was a useless PM
Now I’m back to my old tricks of baffling them
With bullshit and diatribe that flies over their heads
This is just the scenario that Julia dreads

I’ve taken the knives and the axe from my back
And fastidiously got my career back on track
I’ll leak to the media wherever I go
To ensure there’s a news crew apropos

At the height of the floods I broke into a house
Brave and heroic virtues I did tirelessly espouse
Carried a big suitcase above my head, looking forlorn
Then the tenant came home to find his luggage was gone!

Slowly but surely I’ve rebuilt my brand
And Gillard’s ineptitude has played into my hand
As she deliberately drives up the cost of living
People say “Come back Ruddy, all is forgiven”!

Such short memories, it’s been less than a year
Since the majority of folks wanted me out of here*
I’d proven myself to be a man lacking conviction
Short on the action but big on the diction

Now after 9 months of slowly getting back in the swing
And travelling to Turkey & Greece & Berlin
Ethiopa, Switzerland and Liechtenstein
Ruddy’s back in Australia and doing just fine

*Short memories: Newspoll graphic from 10th May 2010. 6 weeks later Rudd was gone, sacked by his own party.


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