Friday, April 15, 2011

THE CONFESSIONAL


Gillard: I’ve lied to the public on so many occasions
I’ve reinvented myself at least 14 times
Swan: I’ve got no idea about treasury equations
I’ve squandered so much I should be tried for waste crimes

Shorten: I’m just a junior minister but act like such a smarty
I’ve knocked off one PM and I’m keen for another
Rudd: I’ve been sacked as PM by my very own party
I’ve fallen out with everyone, even my own brother

Garrett: I couldn’t even manage to give stuff away
I’ve been out of the fire and into the pan
Conroy: I don’t even listen to what the experts say
I’m spending tens of billions on an uncosted plan

Roxon: I’m arrogant and smug in everything I say
Even though I’ve achieved nothing in nearly 4 years
Plibersek: I speak down to people in a patronising way
I’ve proven to be very wet behind the ears

Faulkner: I’ve been unanimously judged the world’s most boring person
And couldn’t even last as a senior minister
Macklin: I’m just hanging around as situations worsen
And do nothing but say ‘Tony Abbott is sinister’

Wong: I failed my first posting so they moved me along
Now I’m stuffing up the Finance ministry
Emerson: All I’ve said and done has been proven wrong
Through my constant displays of rudeness and bigotry

Arbib: I’m a faceless man wielding my power
An egotistical warrior who just loves locking swords
Ellis: Does my hair look good? Am I paid by the hour?
Sorry, what was the question? Ummm, more women on boards?

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