Monday, April 11, 2011

The Postman Always Rings Twice

Hi it’s Wayne, your treasurer
Just ringing to say gidday
You know while the sun is shining
I hope you’re making hay

I’m sure you’ve got your house in order
I’m sure you’re building wealth
But watch out for my sleight of hand
I’m robbing you by stealth

You see, remember back in 09
When Kevin went on the attack
And we went on that spending spree?
Well, now we want our money back

Seems we panicked at the GFC
When we should’ve hastened slowly
But we sent out cheques to everyone
Now our bank balance is lowly

In fact we’re stone cold broke, bankrupt
Not 2 cents to rub together
And any chance of paying off our debt
Is in the never-never

The budget’s so far in the red
I’m thinking of chucking in the keys
Those overpriced school canteens
Have brought us to our knees

And all the other reckless spending
Like putting pink batts up in ceilings
Well, I bloody want my money back
Sorry if I’ve hurt your feelings

We’ve blown so much on stupid plans
All in the name of appeasing the Greens
So much waste, spending in haste
Living well beyond our means

Borrowing millions every day
Just to stay afloat
Throwing billions at the crossbenchers
To get their casting vote

Building new detention centres
And millions spent on hotel rooms
To pay for the influx of boat people
My hour of reckoning looms

The budget’s due in just 4 weeks
I’m in such deep shit it’s not funny
But I’m coming back a second time
And this time I want money

You had your fun back in 09
A brand new big screen Plasma TV
Now I’m back to get my money back
Make out the cheque to “The A.L.P.”

That day you got your cheque in the mail
When you felt all fuzzy and nice
Remember, there’s no such thing as free money
And the postman always rings twice

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